“We played at least a hundred shows down here,” I said. “And no one even noticed us. Maybe we aren’t as good as we thought.”
Mason crossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe. But this is my dream. I can’t just stop playing music.”
“I didn’t ask you to stop,” I said gently. “But I’m leaving. If you want to keep trying, I’m sure you can find another bassist.”
“No one is nearly as good as you,” Gavin said.
Now he was being sweet again. “Life goes on.”
We stood there awkwardly. Mason placed a drumstick behind his ear. Desi clutched her waist, staring at the ground.
“Are you playing the last show tonight?” Gavin asked.
“No.”
“What? Why not?” he asked.
“Because I’m leaving.”
“You’re going home?” Desi asked incredulously. “Our flight doesn’t leave for a few days.”
“No, I’m not going home. But I’m not telling you where I’m going.”
Gavin’s eyes widened. “Are you staying here?”
I didn’t answer his question. “I already have a job lined up for a lab. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re staying here for him,” Gavin said. “I knew this would happen.”
“We broke up.” Just saying the words made my eyes burn.
Gavin gave me a sympathetic look. “He doesn’t want you even after all the time you spent together.” The sadness in his voice touched my heart. There was no gloating or joy.
I nodded slightly.
“I’m so sorry,” Gavin said.
“I’ll be okay,” I lied. I’d never be okay without Cash Matthews.
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?” Gavin asked.
“Because you’ll come after me.”
“But I need to know if you’re okay.” Gavin was practically pleading. “At least give me that.”
“I will after you leave.”
“I’ll just call you, then,” Gavin said.
“I changed my number.” I didn’t want Cash to call me to check on me. I didn’t want to talk to him ever again. If he didn’t want me forever, I didn’t want him at all. “But I will call you when I’m ready.”
“What about Jeremy?” Gavin asked.
“He knows.”
“And he’s okay with that?”
Well, he’s okay with the fictitious version I gave him. “Yes.”
Gavin ran his fingers through his hair. “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”
I shook my head. “There’s nothing anyone can do.”
He stared at me. “Will you come back home eventually?”
“I don’t know…maybe.”
Gavin pulled me into his arms and held me close. “I love you.”
I knew how he meant those words. “I love you too.”
“Please call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” I whispered.
“Even if it’s just to talk. And I’ll be out here in a heartbeat. All you have to do is ask.”
“I know that too.”
Gavin pulled away then studied my face. Then he kissed my forehead. “You will always be my dream, Prudence. Time and distance will never change that.” He dropped his hands then stepped away, emotion in his eyes.
I hugged Desi and Mason and kept my tears back. I didn’t realize how hard this would be until it happened. Without looking back, I got into the taxi and drove to my new apartment. And I’d never felt worse.
Chapter Thirty
Cash Matthews
Prudence was on my mind the entire time I was at work. I loved living with her, seeing her every morning and every night. I loved making love to her—only her. And I knew without a doubt that she was special, someone I could spend the rest of my life with. The girl I should have married to begin with.
And it didn’t scare me.
My brother was right, when he talked some sense into me. Even if she rejected my affection, I still had to try. When I replayed the summer in my mind, I remembered the happiness on her face. She said she trusted me more than anyone. I wondered if she loved me too. How could she spend so much time with me and not feel something?
I remembered the first time I saw her like it was yesterday. The glow from the lights hit her face and illuminated the curve of her cheekbones. She was gorgeous. The prettiest lady I’d ever seen. Even then, I knew I wanted her. But the first time I touched her, I felt a jolt in my body. An instant connection.
I knew she was hurt by Isaac, but if she took a chance on someone else, it would be me. We weren’t just lovers. We were best friends. And we had an unusual trust in one another. She would never lie to me and I would never lie to her. And that was perfect for me.
The longer I thought about it, the more I hated myself. I should have said something to her sooner, not a few days before she was set to leave. Or better yet, I should have just asked her how she felt about me. She wouldn’t lie. But I was too scared to do it.
When I got home, she wasn’t there. I assumed she was already at the bar with the rest of her band. When I opened the closet, I noticed her stuff was missing. Perhaps she already started packing. That was a depressing thought.
I already made arrangements with Bill from Capitol Records. He knew I wouldn’t stick my neck out for someone unless they were really good. In the business world, you never asked for favors until it was a done deal. But I knew he’d want Prudence as soon as she opened her mouth. Then I would tell her how I felt. If she said no, I would let her go. But if she said yes, I knew it would be for me since she would already have the record deal. Everyone would win. I was so close to getting what I wanted. I wouldn’t die alone. I would be happy.
When I got to the bar, Bill was beside me.
“I’m excited to see this songbird,” he said as he grabbed a beer and sat down. “We’re always looking for new talent—especially the beautiful ones.”
“She’s definitely beautiful.” I looked at my watch and noted the time. They should be starting soon. “Please excuse me.”
I walked backstage and saw Desi, Gavin, and Mason putting their instruments together. They seemed to be running late.