His eyes widened. “What?”
“You can’t tell anyone, especially Vivian. I need your word.”
“Shit. This is bad, isn’t it?”
“I’m not saying shit until you give me your word.”
He sighed. “I don’t know if I can keep it from my wife. I tell her everything…”
“Then I’m not talking.”
Denver stared at his beer then sighed. “Fine. I swear I won’t say anything.”
My brother was like me, a man of his word. “Prudence and I aren’t together. We haven’t been together this entire time.”
“What?” He looked more confused than I’ve ever seen him.
“She and I are just sleeping together. It’s meaningless. And she’s leaving to go back home in a few days.”
“Wait. Then why did you introduce her to us?”
I shrugged. “You guys wouldn’t stop pestering me about being alone. She agreed to pretend.”
“But you love each other.”
“No.” Well, I did.
“Even if you were acting, you aren’t that good. And I know she’s in love with you.”
If only that were true. “No, you’re wrong.”
“I’m not,” he said firmly. “Hasn’t she been living with you for the past month?”
“Yeah.”
“Who lives together if they are just fucking?”
“I asked her to. I had to convince her.”
“Cash, tell her how you feel.”
“I don’t feel anything.” I finished my beer then ordered another.
“Bullshit.”
My brother wasn’t going to let this go.
“Prudence is perfect. Don’t let her go.”
“She’s leaving and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
My brother glared at me. “If you love her, you need to try.”
“When did you become a girl?” I snapped.
He ignored the insult. “I used to be just like you. I was out with a different girl every weekend, and I never wanted to settle down. You can attest to that. But when I started seeing Vivian, that changed. When I realized I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else, I knew I found my wife. Don’t you feel the same way?”
“I don’t know…”
“Cash, yes, you do.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I snapped. “She doesn’t feel anything for me. She wants to go. And I’m not going to beg her to stay.”
“So you want her to?”
I stared at my beer, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t know…”
“You love her.”
I couldn’t say it out loud. If I did, there was no going back. I’d have to commit to her and wait for her to hurt me. Hurt me like Sharon did.
“Then tell her, Cash.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“She won’t say it back.”
“Yes, she will,” Denver said. “Mom even said so.”
“Mom said so?”
“When they had lunch together, Prudence said she loved you.”
That got my heart racing. But then reality set in. “She only said that to keep up the pretense.”
“Pull your head out of your ass, Cash. Tell her how you feel before she leaves.”
“No. She made it very clear what she wants.”
“Then what do you have to lose?” Denver asked. “She says she doesn’t feel the same way then leaves.”
“I don’t want to make her feel bad for not feeling the same way. That’s selfish.”
“And you’re being too unselfish.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore…”
My brother rested his elbows on the table and pressed his fingers to his mouth. He was thinking. And that was never good. “Isn’t she a good musician?”
“Yeah…” Where was this going?
“What if you could get her to stay without saying anything? You’d have more time to get her to fall in love with you.”
“What are you thinking?”
“Aren’t you close with Bill from Capitol Records?” Denver asked.
“Yeah.” I still didn’t see where this was going.
“Tell him to come to one of her shows. He’ll discover her band and she’ll stay. Problem solved.”
But that went against my rule. I didn’t want Prudence to be with me just because I did things for her.
Denver read my mind. “She isn’t like Sharon.”
I was still hesitant.
“Cash, either tell her you love her and hope for the best. Or go this route.”
My mind was racing. I really didn’t want to lose Prudence, but was I ready to take such a risk? If I didn’t, I’d lose more than I could afford. I decided to do it. I’d go to her last show and bring Bill along. And I would tell her the truth. That I loved her with my whole heart.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Prudence Clearwater
I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, but I was desperately, madly, and irrevocably in love with Cash. Every kiss we shared and every touch reminded me of the loss. I started to realize that Isaac was just a horrific mistake. It didn’t mean anything, but it cost me everything.
But Cash was nothing like that.
He was always honest with me, he treated me well, and I loved being with him. Living in the same house as him only increased my love. He always thanked me for making dinner, and he would watch me play the piano in the middle of the night. He never spoke, just listened.
His arms were always wrapped around me for the entire night. I was never a cuddler but that quickly changed after we started sleeping together. How could he experience all these same moments and not feel the same way? Why do I always fall for the wrong guys?
But now it was getting too hard. I kept dropping hints about not wanting to go back to London, but he never said anything. He just listened. I told him I’d miss him desperately, but he still didn’t make a move. I think he knew what I was doing, which was why he closed himself off. Then I felt foolish.
I couldn’t sleep anymore. Every moment with him was precious. And when I thought those terrible thoughts, I’d break down in tears. I’d go downstairs and out to his patio. I cried while I stared at the ocean, knowing I would never get what I wanted.