I said I never wanted to be in a relationship again, but that changed when I met Cash. We were both broken, but we could make it work if we tried. I trusted him and he trusted me. We could do it. But he didn’t want to. And that was the problem.
I dreaded saying goodbye to him. There was no way I could keep a straight face and not break down in tears. It would be a dead giveaway of my feelings for him. And watching him let me go would be even harder. It would be heartbreaking. So I decided to leave while he was at work. It was the only way.
When he woke up that morning, I squeezed him tightly, loving the feel of his warm body next to mine. We were always wrapped so tightly around one another, never wanting to let go.
A sigh escaped his lips then he brushed his mouth against my hair. “Good morning, beautiful.”
“Morning.” My voice was emotionless and weak.
“How did you sleep?”
Horrible. I was crying all night. “I don’t want you to go to work.”
“That makes two of us.” He moved on top of me then separated my legs. His cock was hard and pressed against me, wanting to be inside me. Since I knew this was the last time, it felt different. I didn’t want it to end.
He moved inside me, sliding through my slickness, all the way to the back. “You always feel amazing.”
“Because you’re the only one who’s been inside me like this.”
He stopped moving, his eyes directed on mine. “What?”
I didn’t want him to stop. I grabbed his ass and pulled him into me. “I’ve never had it skin-to-skin.”
“Not even with Isaac?”
“No.”
His eyes softened while he looked at me. The he moved inside me again, making long and even strokes. “Prudence, I’m so glad you came here.”
Did he mean that? “I am too.” I dug my nails into his skin and enjoyed his fullness. It didn’t feel as good as it normally did, but not because he wasn’t meeting his usual standards. I was too devastated about this being the last time.
He grabbed my hips and moved into me harder. “I could do this every day.”
I could too. But I meant it literally.
“Every day,” he repeated.
I rocked from below and felt him stretch me. “Cash…”
“And I could hear that every day too.” He cupped my face and rocked into me.
Seeing the look in his eyes sent me over the edge. I gripped him tightly as he hit my sweet spot, taking me to the place I loved so much. The tenderness spread through my body and I shook with the orgasm. I whimpered because it felt so good. But I also whined because it was the last time. No one would ever make me feel this good again. I would never find a man like Cash again. He was different, beautiful, amazing. And that hurt like hell.
Cash found his release then deposited himself inside me. “Prudence…”
I loved it when he said my name like that. I planted a gentle kiss on his lips while he finished. He stayed inside me for a moment before he pulled out. “I wish I could stay here with you all day.”
How could he say that to me then let me go? How could he say that to me and not love me? Did he have this same relationship over and over, and not feel a damn thing? I really was a whore, a meaningless one. I had to get out of there.
Cash kissed my forehead then headed to the shower. I lay still, feeling the tears burn behind my eyes. I had to pull myself together before he got out. Otherwise, he’d know something was wrong. And I couldn’t lie to him.
I looked out the window and took deep breaths. All my stuff was packed in my suitcases under the bed. I would leave immediately, not looking back. When I made this arrangement with Cash, I never expected to find the love of my life, to feel more love and warmth than I did ever before. And the biggest thing of all, I never expected to get hurt. But I did.
He came out of the shower and dressed in his suit. He looked gorgeous like always. The muscles of his chest and shoulders were prominent even under the fabric. And his eyes shined bright. The blue tie brought out the color.
“Baby, everything okay?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah.”
“Okay.” He grabbed his bag then approached me. He was going to give me the same kiss he gave me every morning, a special one so I’d think about him all day until he came home. He cupped my face as he moved his mouth against mine. He didn’t use his tongue, but he didn’t need to. I was shaking anyway. But the kiss didn’t bring me comfort. It just brought me pain. I’d never feel those lips again. And he kissed me, feeling exactly what I did, without feeling anything for me. I was just one of many.
He pulled away then rubbed his nose against mine. “What time is your last show?”
I completely forgot about it. Probably because I wouldn’t be going. “At six, I think.”
He nodded. “I’ll be thinking about you every minute until I’m off work.”
And I’ll be thinking about you every moment for the rest of my life. I hugged him again and squeezed him tightly, enjoying my last second with him.
He rubbed my back. “It’ll only be for a few hours, baby.”
“I know…”
He kissed my forehead again. “I’ll see you soon.”
As soon as he walked out and shut the front door, I broke down in tears and sobbed harder than I ever had. Cash was gone from my life. Forever.
♫
When I showed up at the apartment, everyone was having breakfast. Gavin didn’t look at me once. He hardly bothered anymore.
“What’s up?” Desi asked. She sipped her Starbucks.
“I need to talk to you guys about something.”
“You’re pregnant?” Gavin blurted.
“No.” I was too depressed to chew him out. “I’m leaving the band.”
They all jumped to their feet. “What?” Desi said first. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“We’ve been doing this for years. It’s time to quit.”
Gavin looked speechless. “Prudence, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting and everything I said. But please don’t leave.”
My eyes softened. “That isn’t why, Gavin. We’re just wasting our time at this point. We had a good run, but it’s done now. We need to get back to reality.”
Desi was speechless. “No. We aren’t giving up.”