“Nathan took off in one of the Kelly jets an hour ago.”
Not surprisingly, the entire room erupted in chaos. Donovan put two fingers to his mouth and emitted a shrill whistle then he held up his arms for quiet.
“What do you mean took off? As in had the pilot fly him somewhere?”
Sam shook his head, knowing Donovan already suspected what Sam was about to say. “No, he flew himself.”
“Christ,” Garrett muttered.
Joe swore. “What the f**k is he thinking?”
“Do we know where he went?” Ethan asked.
Sam ran a hand through his hair. Fuck, but he was tired. “He filed flight plans for Crescent City, California. Is that where he’ll end up? Who knows? Who the hell knows what he’s thinking right now? Anyone have any idea what’s in Crescent City?”
“This is crazy,” Joe said. “I thought…Hell, I don’t know what I thought. One minute he and Van are laughing and horsing around. The next, he’s on a plane to Crescent City? I think it’s time the gloves come off. He obviously needs help beyond whatever self-healing bullshit he’s attempting.”
“Cut him some slack. He’s fighting for what’s left of his sanity,” Swanny cut in.
Everyone turned to Swanny in surprise. He was a man of few words. Sam couldn’t remember him ever willingly volunteering information. He was a “speak only when spoken to” person and sometimes not even then.
Donovan’s arms dropped and he stepped forward, his focus solely on Swanny. “Do you know something, Swanny? One of the last things Nathan said to me was that before he could commit to KGI he had to do something. He wouldn’t tell me what. Clammed up tight when I pressed. Next thing I know, he freaks out and hops a jet to California?”
Swanny lowered his head and grasped the back of his neck. He looked indecisive, as if he wasn’t sure whether to betray his loyalty to Nathan. Sam understood that. He did. But f**k it. Nathan was his brother and he needed help whether the stubborn son of a bitch wanted it or not.
“Tell us, Swanny. Whatever you know. Now isn’t the time to hold out. Nathan could be in trouble. We aren’t going to let him go off half-cocked.”
Swanny stared up at Sam. “You don’t understand. How could you? We were in the worst sort of hell. We weren’t living day to day or even hour to hour. We survived minute by excruciating minute. The next day was an eternity away and we didn’t want it. Death wasn’t the enemy. It was our salvation. Our hope. Because only then would we be able to escape our reality.”
Sam’s gut clenched. His mom let out a soft cry of distress and turned her face into Frank’s chest. Tears glimmered in Rusty’s eyes and Rachel looked haunted by past demons. Demons Nathan had firsthand knowledge of now.
Garrett’s and Ethan’s expressions were grim. Every member of the family was pained by the heart-wrenching words that faltered from Swanny’s lips.
Sam knew Nathan had suffered. Maybe he’d never know the extent or what Nathan had been chipped away to by the animals who held him. But he knew his brother suffered because he saw the pain and the isolation in Nathan’s eyes every single day since his return.
“Is there more, Swanny?” Donovan asked in a quiet voice.
Swanny looked agonized. His jaw clenched and he glanced at all of Nathan’s family, member by member, as if weighing whether or not to tell.
Sam took a step toward the man who meant so much to Nathan. Whom Nathan had protected, demanded that he be tended to before Nathan himself.
“Swanny, we want to help him, but we can’t if we don’t know everything. You aren’t betraying him. You have to know that.”
“I could be condemning him in your eyes,” Swanny said gruffly.
“Never,” Garrett ground out. “I don’t care what you tell us. He’s our brother. That doesn’t change just because he’s been changed.”
To Sam’s surprise, Rachel rose from the couch where she sat with Ethan. Her eyes were troubled and her hands shook as she stepped toward Swanny. Then she touched his arm, her expression understanding.
“It’s about her, isn’t it?”
Relief swamped over Swanny’s face. He all but sagged. “He talked to you about her?”
There was hope in his voice that if Nathan had shared whatever it was with Rachel, then it wasn’t solely Swanny’s burden to keep his secrets.
Rachel nodded. “He said she talked to him. That she sent Donovan the email telling him where to find you and Nathan.”
Donovan’s head shot up, and he was about to explode with questions, but Sam flung his hand out to silence his brother, his expression fierce. Donovan’s lips tightened but he settled back and didn’t interrupt.
“Did he…Did he tell you everything?” Swanny hedged.
“I’m sure he didn’t. He was very closed-mouthed about it all. But you aren’t betraying him, Swanny. No more than I betray him by relating all he told me. We’re his family and we love him. We only want to help. Not condemn. It doesn’t matter to us what’s happened, or whether he thinks he’s crazy. We know he’s not. But he needs our help.”
Sweet, loving Rachel. It was like watching beauty tame a wild beast.
“Swanny, whatever it is you tell us, we’re not going to condemn, judge or otherwise decide anything about Nathan other than we want to make damn sure he’s safe and has the help he needs,” Sam said. He eyeballed his brothers, making sure they understood the implied command.