He’d paused while unbuttoning his shirt. Now he continued with the job, freeing the top two buttons, then pulling his tie through the collar and draping it over his shoulder. His simple act had the oddest effect on her stomach. She felt her insides clench a little. And there was an interesting kind of humming heat in her thighs.
He stared at her expectantly. She cleared her throat and wondered what on earth she was going to say. Then she blurted out the first thing that occurred to her.
“Why does Malik act so strangely around me?” she asked.
Jamal’s expression relaxed for the first time in days. Humor curved his mouth and crinkled the corners of his eyes. He gave a lazy shrug, then shifted until he was half perched on the back of the sofa.
“You scare him,” he said. “He assumes you hate all men and are always thinking the worst of him.”
“But that’s not true. I greatly respect him. He’s going to be an excellent king. In fact I find him a little intimidating.”
Jamal’s smile turned into a grin. The transformation caused a definite weakness in her knees. She had barely started getting to know Jamal before he withdrew from her. Until this moment, she hadn’t realized how much she’d come to like him and look forward to talking to him. She’d missed him dreadfully these past ten days.
“He thinks you imagine him to be little more than a worm,” he said. “I suspect you’re shy around him, and he misunderstands that as haughtiness.”
“A worm,” she repeated in disbelief. “The future king of El Bahar thinks I consider him a worm?” She couldn’t believe it. “Besides, I’m never haughty. I don’t know how to be.”
“Don’t worry about it. He’ll come around.”
Heidi was still reeling from the revelation of Malik’s opinion, but she also saw the opening she’d been hoping for. “Will you come around, Jamal?” she asked. “I remember when we were first talking about being married. You said you wanted us to be friends. I want that as well, but we’re not. Is there anything I can do to change that?”
The humor fled his face, leaving behind the stony stranger she’d seen so much of lately. His posture stiffened, and he got to his feet, as if being relaxed wasn’t allowed anymore.
“I’m doing my best to honor your request for a mental and spiritual union,” he said, his voice low and formal. “And to keep my messy animal passions in control. I wouldn’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities.”
“My sensibilities aren’t as delicate as you think,” she murmured, sensing she’d hurt him or offended him or something, but completely clueless as to when or how.
“On the contrary. Your image of the perfect husband was vivid in every aspect. I suspect I’m destined to fall short.”
She took a step toward him, then stopped. He didn’t look the least bit welcoming. “I think I might have overstated my case,” she said. “I didn’t mean for us to have a mental and spiritual union only.”
“You said you hoped for us to rise above the physical.”
Trapped by her own words. She really hated when that happened. “Okay, but I didn’t mean that exactly.” How was she supposed to say that seeing Dora and Khalil together had changed things for her? She might not understand exactly what went on when two people made love, but she was more open to the idea than she had been.
“I want to be clear,” she told him. “I really don’t object to the whole animal-passion business. It’s fine.”
He gave her a sardonic look. “How generous of you, my dear. But you see, I’m not interested in a wife who is only willing to do her duty.”
What? Heidi stared at him. “I don’t understand. I thought this was all about doing my duty. I thought that’s why you were mad at me. What else is there?”
He looked at her for a long time. “My point exactly,” he said, turned on his heel, and left.
She stood there, alone. No more enlightened than she’d been when the conversation began. Apparently she’d messed up worse than she thought. There was only one way to fix the situation. She was going to have get some expert help.
“You told him what?” Dora asked, obviously dumbfounded.
It was the following afternoon. Heidi sat with Fatima and Dora, having tea in the harem. Heidi pushed around a cucumber sandwich on her plate, but couldn’t imagine actually ever eating again. She’d given up trying to convince herself that she didn’t blush and accepted the heat flaring on her cheeks as a physical manifestation of her abject humiliation.
Fatima had frozen in the act of bringing her teacup to her mouth. She now set the delicate china back on her saucer and stared at Heidi.
“You actually said you hoped you two would overcome the need for animal passion?” the queen repeated. “Then you offered to do your duty?” She and Dora exchanged a glance.
Heidi felt small, insignificant and very stupid. She hunched down in the corner of the sofa and stared at her plate. “I told you I didn’t want to get married, and this was one of the reasons. I’m not good with men. I don’t understand them, and I always say the wrong thing. I’m really smart about some things, but I’m hideously relationship-impaired. I don’t need him to fall madly in love with me, but I would like him to at least stay in the same room for a couple of hours.”
“Heidi, it’s not so bad,” Dora said. “You’ve punctured his ego, but men have recovered from worse.”