Jamal stared at her without saying a word. His expression tightened a little, but otherwise he seemed fine. Maybe he would understand, she thought hopefully.
She swallowed, then continued. “I’ve always believed that any physical passion is highly overrated. There was a show on cable a few years back. They remade Pride and Prejudice, which is this terrific book. Anyway, the hero, Mr. Darcy, is the most wonderfully kind man and perfect husband. He really respects the heroine. He’s gracious and well mannered and restrained.” She smiled at the memory of how he looked at Elisabeth Bennett—complete infatuation combined with great longing. “He was fabulous and all I’ve ever wanted in man.”
“You’re in love with a character in a book?”
His voice didn’t exactly thunder in the tent, but it was close enough to make Heidi shiver.
“No, of course not. He’s just different from other men.”
“That could be because he’s not real.”
She shook her head. “You’re missing my point.”
“Oh, please. Enlighten me.”
Heidi tried to figure out what Jamal was thinking, but his face was completely blank.
“I absolutely intend to respect your animal passions,” she assured him. “But I’m hoping that we can eventually rise above them to a higher form of marriage.”
Jamal rose slowly to his feet. He carefully set the champagne glass on the table, then turned to the bed. In one quickly powerful movement, he stripped away the top layer of covers.
“Worry not, my good wife,” he growled as he turned to face her. “I promise not to offend you with my animal passions or any other part of myself. I’ll sleep on the floor tonight, and when we return to the palace in the morning, I will be most careful to stay out of your way.”
Heidi supervised the last of her belongings as they were transferred into Jamal’s suite. At first she’d thought it might be better to stay in the harem but that would have required explanations she was not prepared to make.
As far as wedding nights went, theirs had been less than perfect. The worst part was, she couldn’t figure out what exactly had gone wrong.
Obviously Jamal had been angered by her talk of Mr. Darcy and her hopes that their marriage would move to a higher plane…one that didn’t involve physical intimacy. But she wasn’t talking about now. Maybe she hadn’t made it clear that she intended to do her wifely duty for as long as it took for him to be satisfied. Surely in a year or two he would be willing to put all that behind him. But Jamal had overreacted to her thoughts on the subject, and now they weren’t even speaking.
She sighed as she remembered the silent ride back to the palace. His simmering hostility had been a painful contrast to the gentle teasing of the evening before. Once in the palace, he grabbed her arm, hustled her into their suite and pointed out the spare bedroom.
“You’ll be happier in here,” he’d told her, and then had left.
Heidi stood in the center of that room now, looking at the lace-covered bed. The mattress was full-sized but still much smaller than the one in the main bedroom of the suite. There wasn’t a balcony, but she did have a lovely view of the gardens, and the private bathroom was more than adequate. To be honest, the room was nicer than any she’d had while at school. She should be very happy here.
Except…
Heidi walked back into the living room. Rihana and the other servants had finished moving her clothes. In truth, that hadn’t taken very long—she didn’t have many things and as Jamal’s new wife, she would be expected to upgrade her wardrobe, as befitted a new princess. Which meant a shopping trip to Paris and London. But the thought of shopping didn’t thrill her. She didn’t have much in the way of fashion sense. For a while she’d thought Jamal might come with her and help. After all, he’d had all those lovely women in his life, and most of them had dressed beautifully. However, she doubted that he would be willing to accompany her anywhere now.
Heidi looked at the long, light green sofa, the comfortable club chairs and the low coffee table. There were colorful paintings on the wall by the small dining alcove and a mural of a forest against the back wall. Opposite the sofa were the French doors leading out to the main balcony and beyond them a view of the sea.
This was her new home. Here was where she would come after working on her precious texts. She would grow old within these walls—ignored and loathed by a husband who already hated being married to her. It’s not that she’d planned on finding true love, but she had hoped she and her new husband could at least be friends.
Heidi sank onto the sofa and buried her face in her hands. Everything had gone wrong. Probably because she’d done everything wrong. What good was it being book smart when she made such a mess of her personal life? She felt so stupid. Her husband of twenty-four hours was already regretting his decision. To be honest, so was she. So far marriage was the pits.
She straightened and decided that she had to get out of these rooms. If she could distract herself, she might feel better. Maybe she would go see Dora and talk to her. Khalil’s wife was a sensible person, and she’d already indicated she would like to be friends. That decided, Heidi hurried out of the suite.
The palace hallways were cool, despite the raging temperature outside. She moved easily through the maze of passages. As a child she’d always adored exploring the beautiful, old structure. She loved how each twist and turn could lead to something wonderful—a small grotto in a wall, a fountain, a mosaic depicting a story. The pillars and arched doorways had always seemed so exotic, yet familiar. She’d longed to belong here. Now she did, but not in the way she’d hoped.