Her new sister-in-law was a deputy minister in the El Baharian government. She had her own office in the business wing of the palace. Heidi nodded to the employees she saw as she followed the signs leading her toward Dora’s suite of rooms.
During the two weeks Heidi had stayed in the harem, Fatima had talked much of Dora’s accomplishments. In the past two years, Khalil’s wife had expanded her staff to include researchers, fund-raisers and several college interns. Apparently Khalil often grumbled that his wife had not-so-secret plans to allow women to take over the kingdom. But Fatima had said that her grandson was very proud of his wife. Heidi wondered what it would be like to have a relationship like that with a man. To share work and dreams, and to have him be proud of her.
Jamal was a prince and therefore very concerned about his country, both past and present. As such, he would be pleased that she was interested in preserving El Baharian history. But valuing her potential services and being proud of her accomplishments were two different things. She wanted the latter. Her grandfather had always been proud of her, and she missed that. The king loved her and looked out for her, but it wasn’t the same thing at all. However, she had a feeling that Jamal being anything but annoyed with her was a long way off.
She was still lost in thought when she stepped into the foyer of Dora’s section of the wing. No one sat at the reception desk. Heidi wasn’t sure if she should wait until someone arrived to announce her or if it was all right to just walk in on Dora. Her sister-in-law’s door stood partially open so Heidi tapped lightly and stepped inside.
She opened her mouth to speak, then froze when she caught sight of two people standing close together in front of the window. Sunlight poured in through the glass, making it difficult to identify them at first. Heidi blinked, and the figures became more clear. Her breath caught in her throat.
At first she was so startled she couldn’t bring herself to move. Then an unexpected pain in her heart made it impossible to step out of the room.
Dora stood in her husband’s embrace, his strong arms around her, their bodies touching. Khalil had one hand up under her skirt, caressing her derriere, while the other held her firmly against him.
“I want you,” Khalil murmured. “I need you.”
“Right now?” Dora’s voice was teasing. “Khalil, I’m four months pregnant.”
“I know. My wanting is what got you into trouble in the first place.” His voice was low and filled with laughter. “We need the practice.”
“But you had me last night.”
“And I may need to have you again tonight and tomorrow and all the days we live. Even when we’re old and our bones are so brittle that the act of love threatens to crack us in two.”
Dora laughed softly and touched her husband’s face. “I love you.”
“As I love you,” he told her.
They kissed.
Heidi finally found the will to move quietly out of the room. She shut the door behind her and leaned against the cool surface. Her face was flushed, her chest tight.
So that was passion and romantic love. She’d never seen it before. Not in real life. And somehow the movies never got it right. She hadn’t understood it could be so compelling, so powerful, so wonderful. She closed her eyes and again saw Dora in Khalil’s embrace. They’d looked exactly right, standing there in each other’s arms. The way he’d touched her. It had been so erotic—as if he knew every inch of her body and that knowledge brought him pleasure.
Is that what Jamal wanted with her? That closeness…that kind of intimacy? She’d thought that a physical relationship between two people was all sweat and awkward embracing. She’d thought the woman would feel used and trapped. She’d thought she would hate it. But she hadn’t hated the kissing. That had been surprisingly nice. And what Dora and Khalil had shared made her want to know more.
If this was animal passion, then it wasn’t quite as frightening as she’d thought. It was nothing like the groping from those two boys in college.
But how exactly was she supposed to share her revelation with Jamal? The thought of discussing this with him was too humiliating to imagine.
Maybe she wouldn’t have to, she thought as she headed toward her small work area at the opposite side of the palace. If she gave him a little time, he just might come around on his own.
Okay, she’d been wrong, Heidi thought glumly ten days later. So far Jamal was showing no signs of coming around. If anything, he was as stiff and cold as ever.
She walked quietly next to him as they moved through the palace hallways, heading back to their own suite. Dinner tonight had been a command performance with the king and Fatima. The family generally shared an evening meal once or twice a week. In the past Heidi had always enjoyed those meals. The combination of clever conversation and family love had given her a sense of belonging. But since marrying Jamal, she’d only felt even more on the outside. While everyone else made an effort to include her, her own husband could barely stand to look at her.
When they reached their suite, he held open the door, then followed her inside.
“It’s late,” he said, loosening his tie. He was already halfway across the room and moving toward his bedroom. “Good night.”
She couldn’t stand it anymore. She gathered all her courage and spoke his name. “Jamal, wait.”
Her husband, the tall, handsome man who was as much a stranger to her as anyone she might meet in the souk, turned to look at her. His dark eyes were empty—which was worse than their being cold because the blankness meant no emotion at all. He didn’t even care enough to hate her.