“Gavin, I don’t feel that way about you. I’m sorry.”
“Now. Now you don’t feel that way about me. But you may change your mind.”
“I really don’t think I will.”
He sighed. “Don’t completely rule it out.”
“I don’t want you to waste your time on me. I don’t want a relationship with you or anyone. I never want to get married or have kids. Even if I did want to be with you, it’d only be temporary, and I couldn’t give you what you really wanted; a family.”
Confusion moved into his face while he looked at me. “Pru, what are you saying? You want to be single for the rest of your life?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Good. He finally gets it.
“But you’re with Cash.”
“It’s nothing serious.”
“You’re just sleeping together.” His words came out quietly, full of pain and despair.
I hated hurting him. “It’s what I want—what we both want.”
“But you deserve more than that.”
“Really, I’m fine. I’m happy.”
“Don’t let Isaac ruin your life, Pru.”
No. I’m not having this conversation again. “Gavin, drop it.”
“I could be the man you need. I’ll give you everything you want.”
“Stop.”
He released his frustration through a deep breath. “I sincerely hope you change your mind. Cash doesn’t care about you. He’s just using you to get what he wants. I would never do that. Because I love you. Really love you.”
I looked away, unable to see the hurt in his eyes. “Gavin, I’m really lucky I have the love of the people I’ve surrounded myself with. Through the years, that pool has grown smaller and smaller. I can’t afford to let it shrink. Please don’t say these things to me. I need you as my friend—nothing more.”
“The reason I say these things is because of that very reason. It kills me to sit by and see you in pain, especially knowing I could make it all better.”
“No one can make me better. Only I can. And I’m not in pain anymore. I’ve chosen a lifestyle that fits my needs. Maybe it’s unusual and unorthodox, but it works for me and makes me happy.”
“For now. What about ten years from now?”
“If my desires change, I’ll pursue them. Although, I doubt they ever will.”
“You’re killing me…”
“Gavin, let’s drop this. That will be the best way we can return to our friendship.”
“Okay.” He rested his hands on the table. “But I’m here if you ever change your mind.”
“I know, Gavin.”
He leaned back in his chair and stared me down. The sadness and disappointment was obvious in his eyes. But there was no resignation in the look. I suspected he would tone down his emotions and respect my arrangement with Cash, but it would never quench the hope he had for him and I. There was nothing I could do about that. But I was glad I had my friend back—I think.
Chapter Sixteen
Cash Matthews
I’ve never been jealous before. At least in a really long time. And I was unnerved by the idea of Prudence living under the same roof as Gavin. I had no idea what was wrong with me.
I went to the jewelry store and picked up the necklace I got my sister for her birthday. It was white gold with a large pendant in the front. I thought it was a good birthday gift. I just hoped it wasn’t too excessive.
When I arrived at my parents’ house in Burbank, they both pulled me in for a hug.
“How’s work?” My dad clapped me on the shoulder then drank his scotch. He was always drinking scotch. That’s where I got it from.
“Busy.”
“Sounds about right.”
My mom squeezed my hand then kissed me on the cheek. She was always affectionate and warm. She made up for my dad’s coldness. “Did you bring anyone?”
I never brought anyone nor would I ever. But my mom still waited for the day when I would say otherwise. “Just me.”
Her eyes sagged slightly. “Maybe next time.”
It was annoying. I was happy being single. For some reason, my parents thought I was lonely and devastated. I was just fine. More than fine. That’s when I thought about Prudence. I wondered what that beautiful musician was doing. If I stayed home, I could be fucking her right now, not being grilled by my parents.
I went to the backyard and sat on the patio. When my little sister saw me, she jumped up and gave me a big hug.
“It’s my birthday!”
I laughed. “I know. Hence, the reason for the dinner.”
“I just like saying it.”
“Aren’t you a little old for birthday parties?”
“Never.” She flipped her black hair to one shoulder. She was much shorter than me, getting her petite size from our mom. It was another reason I was so protective of her. “What did you get me?”
“Always right to the point, huh?”
“Duh.”
I pulled out the box then handed it to her. “You can’t exchange this or get store credit.”
She frowned. “It better be good, then.”
My sister could be a brat but I still loved her. Probably because I had to.
She opened the box then pulled out the necklace. When her eyes lit up, illuminating the entire backyard, I knew she loved it. She grabbed the pendant then looked at the engraving. That’s when the tears started to well up. “Cash…”
“You like it?”
She pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. “I love it.”
“You better.”
“I’m being serious.” She pulled away then placed it around her neck. After she clasped it, she felt it in her fingers. It looked good against her skin tone. “Thank you.”
“Happy birthday, baby sister.”
“I don’t want to return it.”
“That’s a first,” I said with a smile.
My mom came outside and placed the food on the table.
“Mom, look what Cash got me.”
My mom examined it. “It’s beautiful.” She looked at the engraving then smiled. “It seems like your brother does like you after all.”
“I knew it,” my sister said.