She moaned and closed her eyes in absolute bliss.
“Feel good?” he husked in her ear.
She wanted to cry. Such tenderness was alien. She couldn’t remember this, and it hurt all the more that she couldn’t bring such sensation readily to mind.
“Why can’t I remember?” she asked in a choked voice. “I want to remember. I do.”
His hands paused for a moment, and then he continued with gentle, loving strokes as he worked the lather. “You will, Rachel. You will.”
After a moment, his hands drifted down to her shoulders, kneading and massaging her tense muscles. They moved lower, hovering at her chest and then dipping into the water. She sucked in her breath, but he didn’t cup her br**sts. His fingers glided over the soft swells but went quickly past to her belly, where they stopped, content to rest there at her waist.
“Slide down so I can rinse you.”
She went limp and eased down his body. He raised one hand to cup her chin and lifted so that her face stayed out of the water as her head reclined. Then he carefully rinsed her hair.
When he was done, he pressed a kiss to her forehead as she stared up at him, and then he put his hands underneath her arms and lifted until she was upright again. His fingers once again brushed across her br**sts when he moved his hands, but as before, they didn’t linger.
“Rachel.”
Her name came out, almost an entreaty, expelled on a long, soft breath, one that bordered on an ache.
She stilled, waiting for what he wanted to ask.
“Do you remember much about your captivity?”
She stiffened, and her breathing ratcheted up. His hands smoothed over her shoulders, petting in a soothing manner.
Slowly she nodded. “Some. Not everything. The stuff . . . the drugs they gave me made things muddled.”
“What can you remember? Can you tell me about it?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to think about it.”
His hands tightened around her shoulders. “Did they hurt you?”
She wilted against him, sagging like a deflated balloon. Around her the water was cooling, and a shiver burst over her skin. Ethan cursed softly and fumbled with his foot for the drain.
“Let’s get out and we’ll talk in the bedroom. We could both use some rest and it would be nice to hold you for a while.”
He braced himself on the sides and pushed himself upward. Water rained down all around as it spilled from his body. He stepped out and reached for a towel. This time, she stared unabashedly as he dried himself off.
When he was done, he got another towel and laid it aside. Then he reached for her hands and pulled her to stand. As she stepped out, he wrapped the towel around her and pulled her against his naked body.
He rubbed her dry from head to toe and then toweled her hair.
“I know I told you to get an outfit, but how ’bout I give you one of my shirts, and when we get up later you can dress. Or maybe we’ll just stay in bed until tomorrow.”
She offered a tremulous smile. “That sounds nice. I’m so tired.”
He kissed her upturned lips then backed away. “Stay right there. I’ll get dressed and get you a shirt.”
He returned a second later wearing gym shorts and carrying a T-shirt for her. He pulled it over her head, and it fell down her body to her knees. She looked down and then back up at him.
“That shirt never looked as good on me,” he said with a smile. Then he reached for her hand. “Ready?”
She slipped her fingers into his and nodded.
CHAPTER 18
A normal bed. It looked warm, soft and inviting, and she all but dove into the mound of covers. The simplest pleasures, ones that would be so easy to take for granted in everyday life, were now the sweetest. A hot bath. A comfortable bed. All the things she’d been denied for a year.
“Am I even going to be able to find you underneath all those covers?” Ethan teased as he crawled onto the bed.
“I think I’ll just stay here for a week,” she said wistfully.
“I could be persuaded,” he said as he settled beside her.
He lay on his side and propped his head in his palm as he wedged his elbow between the pillows. She stared up at him, studying his expression, the different glints of his eyes.
“Your eyes are darker than Sam’s,” she mused. “You look a lot like Garrett. You think that’s why I remember him?”
He blinked as if he hadn’t expected the random thoughts she’d thrown his way.
Her brow crinkled as she brought Donovan’s face into view. “Donovan has green eyes, but the rest of you have blue eyes.”
Ethan smiled and touched her cheek. “Slow down, baby. Let me catch up.”
She burrowed a little deeper into the covers and stifled a yawn as she stared up at him. She loved the contrast between the white sheets and his tanned skin. He was a beautiful thing to behold, and she ate him up with her eyes.
Had she always looked at him with such adoration? Why couldn’t she remember? A spark of emotion. Anything.
Darkness crept up again, uninvited and insidious. Fear took hold. Fear of the unknown, but there was also a fear of remembering. Why? What dark secrets did this seemingly perfect house hide?
“Most of us have blue eyes. Dad has blue eyes and Mom has brown. Van ended up with green, while Nathan and Joe got Mom’s brown eyes.”
“I thought brown was always dominant over blue,” she said with a frown.
“You’re asking a dumb military grunt to explain genetics?”