She twisted, held captive to her dreams. A tortured moan escaped her over and over, and all she could think was He doesn’t love you. It’s not real.
“Rachel. Rachel. Wake up, sweet pea. You’re dreaming. Come back to me.”
She shrank away from the soft croon, and her eyes fluttered open. She blinked rapidly as Garrett’s face came into view. Relief staggered her, and she felt sick that she was relieved it wasn’t Ethan kneeling next to the couch.
She grabbed at his hand and clutched tightly, her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest.
“Hey, are you okay?”
She nodded but she kept her fingers wrapped tight around his hands as she struggled to sit up.
Garrett helped her and then slid onto the couch to sit next to her, his arm hung loosely around her shoulders.
“Ethan’s over at Mom’s, but he’ll be back soon. I can call him if you need him.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m fine. Really.”
“Can I get you something? You hungry?”
“Water.”
He rose and with a concerned look in her direction walked into the kitchen. A few seconds later he returned with a glass of water. She took it from his outstretched hand and drank thirstily.
After a few moments some of the blackness of her dreams receded, and she could breathe easier. She held the glass in both palms and rested the bottom on her knee as she stared straight ahead, trying to collect her scattered thoughts.
“Rachel? Are you sure you’re all right? That seemed like a really bad dream.”
Her mouth lifted in a half smile. Then she glanced over at him, easing a little more at the worry in his eyes.
“Tell me about Ethan,” she said softly.
Garrett’s brows came together in confusion.
“About me and Ethan,” she corrected. “Were we happy? Did he . . . did he love me?”
Garrett sucked in a deep breath and then he leaned back on the couch. He held out his arms to her. “Come here.”
She went willingly, seeking his comfort, wanting the truth but also hoping it eased her mind.
When she was settled in the crook of his arm, he nudged her head until it was pillowed on his shoulder.
“Ethan is a stubborn son of a bitch. There was never a doubt about that. He’s butted heads with every one of us. You included. But he loved—loves—you. Don’t ever doubt that. You were just right for him. No other way to put it. You were calm when he had the tendency to get all worked up over things. You centered him.”
“My nightmare was about us,” she admitted. “In it he was angry. Really angry. I don’t know about what. But I was so . . . afraid. Scared. Not that he’d hurt me but that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t want me. Why would I dream something like that?”
He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. “You’re scared, sweet pea. We’re a bunch of strangers to you. You’re suddenly thrust back into a world you can’t remember. I can only imagine how frightening that has to be. I’d be amazed if you weren’t having nightmares about all of us.”
She sighed, her chest caving a little in relief. He made so much sense.
“But there’s something you need to know,” he continued. “Ethan was devastated when he lost you. Not a day has passed that he hasn’t mourned for you. He damn sure didn’t stop loving you. He’s scared too, Rachel. Scared out of his mind that he’ll do or say the wrong thing, that he’ll hurt you or that, God forbid, he’ll lose you again.”
“I’m not the only one hurting,” she murmured.
“No,” he agreed.
“Thank you,” she said simply. “I’ll remember that. I’m glad he went to see his mom. She must be worried about him.”
“We all are. We’re worried about you both.”
Her hands shook, and she clasped them tighter around her water glass to control her nerves.
“Will you take me to him?” she asked.
Garrett hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. He won’t be long. I can call him to come back. He’s just five minutes away.”
She gave him a perplexed look. Her brows scrunched together as she studied him. “Why not?”
“We don’t want to overburden you too fast. Ethan has a big family. There are a lot of us,” he said tactfully. “It can be overwhelming.”
“I’m okay,” she insisted. “I want . . . I want to see them. Maybe I’ll remember something. Besides I don’t want to keep Ethan from his family because he worries I’m going to freak out. I can only imagine how worried everyone has been for him.”
“And you, sweet pea,” Garrett said gently. “We’re most worried about you.”
“Will you take me to him?”
He inhaled through his nose, his big chest puffing outward, and then he released his breath in a long exhale, his chest sinking.
“Okay. I’ll drive you over. Ethan might kick my ass over it.”
She eyed him doubtfully. “You’re bigger than Ethan.”
His teeth flashed as he grinned. “But Ethan’s meaner.”
She raised her hand to her lips as laughter spilled out. Then her eyes widened in surprise to hear the sound.
“Ahh, sweet pea, that sure does sound good. Come on. Mom and Dad will be so glad to see you. If we’re lucky, the rest of the clan is still over at my place, so you won’t be subject to everyone at once.”