When she got to the ranch, though, her stomach turned at the sight of Colt’s Jeep, parked in the corner of the half-full parking lot. She pulled in and entered the main cabin. Brenna was the only one there, head cradled in her hands, her bangs bright purple. Oh. She only vaguely remembered suggesting it to Brenna last night. It had seemed like such a good idea after an entire bottle of wine. “Hey,” she said softly.
Brenna groaned and lay her cheek on her desk. “Go away. My head hates you.”
“Is Colt here?”
She shook her head and stared blearily at Beth Ann. Circles ringed her eyes. “He’s out with a class for the next five days. Hardcore group.”
She frowned. “It wasn’t on his calendar.”
Brenna yawned, then laid her head back on the desk. “He switched with Dane. They got all of Pop’s land cleaned up and he owed him a favor.”
“Oh.” Disappointment flared through her. She’d wanted to see him. “I think I left something in his cabin,” she lied. “Can I go—”
Brenna waved her away.
Beth Ann slipped out and headed over to Colt’s cabin. The overgrown grass around the cabins had been cut, the flagstones removed. It looked like a real lawn. She crept up the steps and knocked on the door. No answer, of course. She tried the knob—it opened. Of course it did. No one would come out to his cabin but Colt. She paused for a moment, then stepped inside.
It was a mess. Surprise rocked through her. Colt was always so neat, so ordered. Dishes piled in the sink, and clothes lay strewn on the ground. She idly picked up one of his shirts and smelled it. It smelled like sweat, and like Colt. Her eyes pricked with tears. Why had he lied to her? She glanced over at the bed—it was unmade as well. Her hand moved to the edge of the mattress, and she ran her hand along it, then sat down on the edge.
She’d loved sleeping here in his arms. He’d kiss her ear, her temple, and then pull her in close and cuddle her before they went to sleep. As if he couldn’t get enough of touching her. That was nothing like Allan, who hadn’t even been interested in sex with her anymore.
Colt had loved her. Loved touching her. She sighed, lay down and put her head on his pillow. Her hand touched something underneath it, and she pulled it out.
One of her shirts. It was a pink one she often slept in. Why was it under his pillow? Warmth flushed through her as she pulled it to her chest. Did he hold it and think of her?
She set it down gently again and got up. Wishing for this wasn’t helping. She wanted Colt back in her life, but her need for him warred with her need to not always be the one to say “I forgive you.”
And she was going to drive herself crazy with all this speculation. She just needed to talk to him. Rationally. Calmly, now that she’d gotten all her hurt and anger out, and all that was left was this aching numbness that didn’t feel better being apart from him. It felt worse.
When she emerged from the cabin, Mr. Waggoner rode past on the riding lawnmower. She waved at him, her cheeks pinking a little as he turned the mower off and glanced at her, then back at his son’s cabin.
“How are you feeling?”
The man smiled. “Better than my boy is right now.”
Her smile faltered.
Mr. Waggoner looked chagrined. “Didn’t mean it like that, Beth Ann. He did a real bad thing, lying to you, and he’s paying for it now, I imagine.”
Beth Ann nodded slowly, crossing her arms over her chest. “I told him that I needed trust in a relationship, and he still lied to me.”
Pop nodded. “Been a hard month for that boy. First me going in the hospital, then the thing about his mom, and now losing you. I imagine that’s why he wants to run back to Alaska.”
She ignored the old man’s speculative look. “What stuff about his mom?”
Pop scratched his head. “’Bout his daddy not being me.”
Her breath caught. “What do you mean, ‘this month’ ? How long has he known?”
Allan had told her that Colt had known for a while. That Colt had deliberately chased a relationship with her because he’d wanted to prove something. That he’d chased her as a subtle revenge on Allan. He’d implied that the only reason that Colt had wanted her was just to drive Allan insane.
Oh, why the hell did she ever listen to Allan?
“Told him two weeks ago, when I was in the hospital,” Pop admitted. “I didn’t want anything to happen to me without him knowing. He was real devastated, too. I thought he’d never talk to me again. But he turned to me and said I was his only father. The only one that ever mattered. And then he got me this job and cleaned up my land so they wouldn’t throw me in jail.”
Her heart hammered as Pop rambled. Colt hadn’t known until then? He’d only found out days ago? It hadn’t been a factor when they’d started to date? It hadn’t been the reason he’d chased her?
Hope shot through Beth Ann, made her entire body tremble. “But why didn’t he say anything to me?”
“Well,” Pop said slowly. “He knew Allan hurt you real bad. I suspect he didn’t want to hurt you more. He loves you, you know.”
She was beginning to think she did know. Tears pricked her eyes behind the sunglasses. He’d struggled with his family, frustrated by their reputation and their poverty. And yet when he found out he wasn’t a Waggoner at all, it hadn’t mattered to him. He hadn’t abandoned his father. He loved him, even though he could have walked away. He just quietly took care of things to show them that he loved them.
And he loved her.
Judge me by my actions.
He was going to Alaska because he loved her, she knew. Because he thought that was the right thing to do to give her space. Because he didn’t want to harass her like Allan did, and he was courteous and thoughtful, and he loved her.
And she realized, suddenly, that there was nothing to forgive.
She didn’t care about being stranded that weekend. He’d lied to her about it, true, but his actions every step of the way afterward were not those of a man that was just stringing along a woman he didn’t care about. Nor did it matter that he was Allan’s brother. Because Colt was Colt, and he wasn’t like Allan in the slightest.
Beth Ann moved to the mower, leaned in and kissed Pop’s cheek. “I’m glad we had this talk. Thank you.”
“You’re a good girl,” he said, patting her hand.