Home > The Care and Feeding of an Alpha Male (Bluebonnet #2)(68)

The Care and Feeding of an Alpha Male (Bluebonnet #2)(68)
Author: Jessica Clare

She didn’t smile. “I need you to tell me if you’ve lied to me, Colt. About anything.”

She waited for him to be confused. For him to quirk an eyebrow and ask what she was talking about.

But his eyes got hard. He sat down on the edge of the bed and patted it. “Sit down and let’s talk.”

Tears started in her eyes. It was all true. It was all true and she was going to be sick. She’d fallen for a man who had lied to her about everything. Who he was. What he wanted from her. Did he even love her? Or was that just part of his game?

“I don’t want to sit down,” she said in a wobbly voice. “So Allan’s your brother?”

“He is,” Colt replied in a flat voice.

“And are you with me because you’re trying to get back at him?” Her voice quavered, breath catching on the words.

Colt’s handsome face grew hard. “No. Never.”

“How can I believe you?” she cried. “You know how important trust is to me.”

“I know,” he said in a ragged voice. “I was going to tell you.”

“When?” she cried. “When you felt like it? When the mood struck you? When it suited your purposes? What about me? Doesn’t what I think count?”

He said nothing, simply watched her with slitted eyes.

She laughed bitterly, throwing her hands up. “And if that wasn’t awful enough, now I find out that you lied to me that first weekend. Was that just so you could f**k me, too? You made me go through all that mud and camping and being stranded in the rain just so you could f**k me? How about you ask a girl out on a damn date?”

“It wasn’t like that,” he said quietly.

“Then how was it? Tell me.”

To her surprise, he looked uneasy. “When I saw you, you were nasty to me. I was bored. Irritated at you.” He shook his head. “Thought I’d teach you a lesson.”

“Teach me a lesson?” she cried out. “Are you serious? You hated me so much that you were going to drag me through the mud for an entire weekend? Are you sick in the head?”

“It was only supposed to be for one night,” he said softly.

“Oh? And after that, I suppose we were really stranded?”

He said nothing.

Hurt rolled through her, wave after wave of hurt. “Oh. I see. So first you were pissed at me. Then you wanted to f**k me.” She shook her head. “And I fell for it. God, I must be really, really stupid.”

He stood up. Moved toward her. “You’re not stupid, Beth Ann. I’m a f**king dumbass. I shouldn’t have done it. And I should have said something.”

“Yes,” she said flatly. “You should have.”

“I love you,” he said, his gaze intent on her. He reached out a hand.

She flinched away. “How can I even trust you? How can I ever trust you again?”

“You can judge me by my actions,” he said solemnly. “I know what I did looks really bad. I can’t make it look better. But I have never treated you badly. I love you and I don’t want to lose you. You can hate me for a month. You can slap me across the face. Whatever it takes to make this better. Just tell me we’re okay.”

“We’re not okay,” she said, tears streaking down her face. She slapped his hand away. “We’re so not okay. I don’t know if we will ever be okay again. I can’t trust you, Colt. That’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted from you is trust. To know that you have my back.”

“I do—”

“You don’t,” she said, and pressed a hand to her forehead. It was either that or start screaming. This was Allan, all over again. Once again, she’d been lied to and betrayed. The hurt was so deep this time that she felt cold. Just cold all over. “I don’t even know what to think right now, except that you betrayed me when I needed someone that I could trust the most.”

There was anguish in his eyes. She didn’t care. “Beth Ann,” he said softly. “I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, but I did. And I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry.”

Her mouth twisted into a bitter smile. “You know who says ‘sorry’? Someone that lied.” She shook her head, dropped his hand. “I’ve heard enough apologies to last a lifetime.”

And she walked away.

Beth Ann half expected him to come after her. To follow her back out into the parking lot, stop her at her car. Tell her he’d never meant to hurt her. That he’d never do it again. That’s what Allan would have done.

But Colt wasn’t Allan. He didn’t chase her out. He wouldn’t chase her, she knew that. He’d never chase her. He’d always let the decision be hers.

And somehow, that hurt worse than anything. She returned to her salon—her empty, empty salon—that she’d closed during the middle of the day. She’d been gone for hours. She remembered that first weekend, when she’d come back to a voicemail box full of unhappy clients that she’d missed out on. How she’d taken that for granted. She’d kill for a voicemail from just one unhappy client now.

But her voicemail was empty. And she couldn’t even call Colt to complain. She kept the closed sign flipped, turned the lights off, and went to the back room. Her air mattress was there, and she lay on it, suddenly bone weary and exhausted. Beth Ann grabbed her pillow, clutched it to her chest, and cried.

She’d never felt more alone or more unloved in her entire life.

SEVENTEEN

One week later

Colt flung a thick section of pipe into the Dumpster. He grabbed a nearby tire and hauled it to the Dumpster as well. Sweat poured down his shirtless, lean body. He’d been out in the sun, working since dawn to clean his father’s property. He’d paid the fines but an inspector was coming by next week. He’d hired a day crew to come by and help, and Marlin would be by as soon as he finished his truck run. That was fine with Colt—this was something he wanted to do himself.

Next to him, Dane leaned against the Dumpster, chugging at a bottle of water. “Slow down, man. You’re making me tired just watching you.”

Colt didn’t want to slow down, though. He adjusted his work gloves and grabbed at the item under the tire he’d moved—chicken wire. A whole roll of it. “Needs to get done, Dane. I can rest later.”

   
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