Andre abruptly closed off his mind to her. “Their deaths were my fault. I learned a valuable lesson that night. I stayed away from humans as much as possible. Unless I had to rescue them or use them to stay alive, I didn’t go near them.”
Teagan was still reeling from that nightmare memory that refused to leave him. She rubbed her palm up and down his chest soothingly. “It wasn’t your fault and you know it. Maybe as a teenager you took that blame, but Ciprian wanted you to feel it. That was part of his whole high—to see your guilt and sorrow. He needed that to make himself feel something.”
She felt Andre startle and knew she had judged the vampire’s motives correctly. Andre’s hand came up to her hair and once again she got the impression he wanted her braids out. She wanted to give him everything in that moment. He needed someone to give him everything.
She turned her face up to his throat and nuzzled him. “Baby, if you want my hair down, I’ll take it down for you, but we’re in the mountains far from a shower and I have a lot of hair. I sort of inherited it from both my mother and father, so it’s thick and wild and very long. I keep it braided when I go hiking.”
“Let me.”
Andre sounded gruff, as if her offer meant a lot to him. As in a lot. Her stomach did a little flutter and her heart felt as if it melted right there in her chest.
“What happened to you after that?”
“I lived with another family of Carpathians. They had three sons, triplets. Mataias, Lojos and Tomas. Over the centuries, like many siblings, they were never far from one another. They come from a long line of famous warriors, a respected family that always produced multiple children, yet rarely gave birth.”
Andre sighed. “Two daughters were born to the family after the triplets, but neither lived beyond their second year. A master vampire claimed their mother when she was pregnant with another set of triplets. Of course their father followed his lifemate. I helped them hunt the vampire across two continents. We did not stop until we destroyed the undead, exacting justice. The triplets are younger than me by a few years. I stayed with their family, but I began to lose the ability to see in color nearly right away and then my emotions began to fade before I was fifty. I spent most of my time learning the skills needed to kill vampires. Because I did, the triplets did as well. I did not talk much, but they never seemed to mind.”
“Are they still alive?”
“Yes. They went to the United States. I was supposed to go with them, but I stayed behind because I ran across the trail of a master vampire and his followers.” He brushed a kiss over the top of her head. “If I had not done so, I would not have discovered my lifemate.”
“Who was the man who came to save you?”
Andre sighed. “Roman Daratrazanoff. He was second-in-command to the prince of our people. He came too late.”
“I’m so sorry, Andre.” Teagan felt the weight of her hair as it slid from the braids as if by magic. His fingers were already diving deep, as if he had found a treasure. “That’s where you got those scars.”
“I kept them. Roman was a great healer. He made certain I stayed alive, but I kept the scars to remind me.”
She tilted her head to look at him. There were drops of blood tracking down his face. She wiped at them with her thumb, unable to determine where they came from. “You have a memory that has refused to go away, Andre. You’re already scarred. You didn’t need to keep them.”
“Four of them.”
“I don’t understand.”
“One for each of them.” He touched his left shoulder. “Ion.” His right shoulder. “Dorina.” The left side of his rib cage. “Euard.” The right side. “Elena.”
Her throat closed, clogged with tears. “Of course,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Andre.” She recognized that the four scars were his tribute to the family he’d loved.
“Then you will understand why I have to do this.”
Her heart jumped. She bit her lip. His fists tightened in her hair. “Do what?”
“Make you wholly mine.”
“You’ve already done that, Andre. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere. I just want to make it clear I’m not okay with the blood thing. You can take my blood. It’s sort of sexy, but no way am I taking yours.”
She looked up at him. Met his eyes so he would understand she was laying down the rules of their relationship. She could accept what he was, but she definitely drew the line at ingesting his blood. That was just plain eww and she wasn’t going there.
“You still do not understand. I slept with you aboveground, Teagan, but I cannot continue to do that on a regular basis. The soil heals and rejuvenates me. I must go to ground, especially after I have been wounded. If I do not, it weakens me. I cannot protect you when I am in the Carpathian sleep. You wandered off and put yourself in danger.”
She swallowed hard. She’d known. It wasn’t as if this came as a shock. She’d already suspected that he slept in the ground. She just didn’t want to think of him as a vampire. Clearly he wasn’t, but he definitely wasn’t human either.
“I learned my lesson. I’m not going out on my own. I’ll hang right next to you, wherever you’re sleeping. Aboveground, but still, very close to you.”
Andre buried his face in her hair. “You know that will not work. We cannot be separated. Already your mind turns to mine. Once you cannot reach me, you will believe I am dead and that will be dangerous as well.”