She couldn’t help herself. It wasn’t just his “binding” them together, because she still wasn’t sure about how that worked, or how real it was. No, this was all Teagan. Her compassion and empathy for others, but especially him. This was a gift and she was taking it.
She used the pads of her fingers to smooth over his jaw. She loved the line of him, masculine and tough with a permanent five-o’clock shadow that made him look even more handsome than ever.
Her heart went out to him. At times he seemed so absolutely alone. She knew what that was like—clearly not on the same scale as he did, but still, she ached for him.
“I want to be your woman, Andre,” she murmured, and leaned in to brush a kiss across his lips. “I just think maybe—sadly—you got it wrong. I don’t know if I’m the woman you need and want. I’m very modern and I really, really have trouble with anyone telling me what to do and making decisions for me.”
His hand moved up to her hair. She knew instantly he would have preferred it down. He liked the idea of feeling it in his hands. He’d fantasized how it would feel sliding over his body, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t try to take out the intricate braid work.
“I know you, Teagan,” he replied softly. “I see who you are. You are the woman for me. You brought me out of the darkness and into the light. There is no other.”
She leaned in and nuzzled his throat, inhaling the scent of him into her lungs. Sorrow clung to him. Deep. As if whatever happened all those years ago, he felt it just as if it had happened that very day.
“My emotions have returned. They are . . . overwhelming at times. I am working to get them under control.”
The admission coupled with his fingers massaging the nape of her neck sent little flutters of awareness down her spine. She did what she always did when she needed time to process. She ignored all the things she didn’t want to think about and went with her heart.
“Tell me, Andre. I want to know.”
He leaned into her and very gently took her face between his hands, his gaze capturing hers for a long minute. She felt herself falling into his eyes. He brushed his mouth over hers with infinite gentleness.
“Thank you, sivamet. You have already lightened my heart.”
He settled her more comfortably on his lap, wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t know if he was comforting her, or needed the comfort himself.
“In those days, life was very different. There were much fewer people in the area where I grew up. I had no other siblings. My mother hadn’t been able to have children and when she had me, something went wrong with her mind. Maybe something had always been wrong with her, I do not really know. According to those who knew her, she really withdrew from the world after that difficult birth. There was only my father for her. No one else could reach her.”
His hand found hers and he pulled it close to him, his fingers tight around hers. “I felt like the ghost they always call me. I was there, but not. She didn’t see me or acknowledge me in any way. My father was very occupied with her, so most of the time, I was a ghost to him as well.”
Teagan detested that. Her childhood had been one of love and laughter. She hadn’t known anyone called him “Ghost.” That bothered her, too. But mostly it was the way Andre spoke, as if none of it mattered to him. That wasn’t the cause of his sorrow. He didn’t reflect on his childhood as bad or good. It simply was.
“There were a lot of wars back then. Carpathians stayed out of them as much as possible. We had no interest in politics, but sometimes the fighting spilled over to our homes even though we were so remote.”
She listened intently. At least he hadn’t said “centuries ago,” which helped her concentrate on the story and keep everything else at bay.
“I was alone a lot. I wandered around on my own most of the time, but eventually I met a human family—the Boroi family.”
She pushed down her shock. Andre had introduced himself with that surname. She stayed quiet, wanting more now, needing to share his past.
“They lived in a little hut hidden deep in the forest. They had a few animals and not much else, but they were family.”
His hand slipped from hers to span her rib cage, just below her breasts. His chin nuzzled the top of her head.
“Much like the family you grew up with,” he added, “they loved one another fiercely. They were the closest I’d ever gotten to knowing what a family should be. I met their son, Euard, first. He was my age. His little sister, Elena, was a bit younger, and we all became good friends. They would come out at night and roam the forest with me. I was careful not to be anything but human. I protected our people, but Euard and Elena became my family.”
“What were they like?” Teagan asked gently, wanting him to remember something other than the horror of his only childhood memory—something warm and loving. His voice was very wooden, as if he was reaching to find the good part of his childhood.
He was silent a moment. She was in his mind and she felt him searching. Reaching. Trying to find those recollections. His fingers began a slow massage over her ribs. She felt them trailing absently to her belly button and back up to the undersides of her breasts. She knew he was completely absorbed in trying to remember his childhood friends and not paying any attention to his hands. She liked that he was using her as his anchor.
“Elena was beautiful and sweet. She laughed all the time. She liked to spin in circles with her arms out. I remember she would call to me and tell me to spin with her. Euard would shake his head like he thought she was crazy, but he’d spin with her just as I would. She brought joy to her parents and Euard. I knew because their faces lit up the moment she came into a room.”