But nothing good was ever easy. Only a coward would take the path of least resistance and shut Eden out before he ever let her in. He wasn’t a coward, had never been a coward, and he damn sure wasn’t going to start being one now.
She was right in that he didn’t trust her yet. Or perhaps he didn’t trust what she said she wanted. But she trusted him and it seemed the height of disrespect not to give her his trust in return.
“I don’t want you to go,” Swanny said in a soft voice. He hated how vulnerable he sounded even to his own ears.
“Then what do you want?” she asked, just as softly.
He leveled his gaze at her, determined to be as sincere as she had been. And as honest. He sucked in a deep breath and put it out there. The same thing she’d done for him. Made himself vulnerable, as vulnerable as she’d made herself by putting it all on the line. Her pride. Her courage. Her heart. Because damn it, he’d sworn to her that she was safe with him. That he’d protect her at all costs. And now he realized that his protection had to extend further because he had to protect her heart and soul as well as protect her from any physical threat.
With his next words he’d be committing himself wholly to keeping her safe. Even from himself and any hurt he might open her up to.
“You,” he said bluntly. “I want you.”
CHAPTER 14
EDEN sucked in her breath, almost dizzy with relief. But the practical side of her insisted that she make sure that he did want her and wasn’t just caving under pressure. She’d come on to him with all the finesse of a bull in rut, and he might have seen no other recourse than to wave a white flag of surrender.
And that wasn’t what she wanted. Yes, she wanted Swanny. Was attracted to him in a way she’d never been attracted to another man. But she wanted him to want her in that same way without pressure.
“And why do you want me?” she asked softly, bracing herself for possible disappointment. “Because I don’t want someone who feels pressured. I know I’ve put you on the spot and have been . . . brazen . . . for lack of a better word. I want you, yes. I’ve certainly made that clear. But I want you to want me for the right reasons. I hope I’m making sense.”
His response was a low growl and then suddenly she found herself hauled from the couch and into his lap. She landed with a soft thud and he tilted her chin upward just before his mouth crashed down over hers.
He vibrated with want—need. It was impossible to fake. She could feel the erection straining at his jeans against her thigh.
He slid his tongue into her mouth, stroking and caressing, tasting her, allowing her to taste him. She let out a breathy sigh as she relaxed into his hold, his arms around her, anchoring her tightly to his body.
Such a muscled, strong body.
The kiss went on and on, their breaths mingling, until they were both panting between kisses as they sucked air into their starved lungs. She moaned from the exquisite sensations bombarding her. If she’d in any way imagined her attraction to Swanny, it was now confirmed. Her body leapt to life, every nerve ending painfully aware of the overwhelming desire singing through her veins.
Never had a man made her feel the way Swanny did. Never had she had the desire to go all the way. Something had always held her back. Now she knew why. Because she’d been waiting for Swanny. For a man to make her feel that she was safe, that he would take care of her completely.
Finally Swanny dragged his mouth away from hers. His eyes were half-lidded and heavy with desire.
“Now you tell me if it feels to you like I don’t want you. Or that you’re somehow forcing my attraction, because honey, it doesn’t work that way. I can’t fake my reaction to you. I can’t even look at you without wanting you. The only thing I’m struggling with is my belief that a woman in your class could possibly want me.”
She smiled, warmed by the sincerity she saw shining in his beautiful eyes. She lifted her hand to caress his scarred cheek, running her fingers lightly along the ridges. He didn’t flinch or try to turn away, a huge victory because it meant he was becoming more comfortable with her.
She touched him often, wanting to tell him without words that she wasn’t bothered by his appearance. She knew it would take time, but she wanted him to know without question that she wasn’t put off by his scars. Not in the least.
“To turn your words back on you, I can’t fake a reaction this strong. If you want an explanation I simply don’t have one. Some things just are, and for me that’s you. I struggle over the fact that we’ve known each other such a short time. I mean, it never seemed possible to me to have an instant connection with another person like I do with you. But it’s there. It was there from the start. There was something about you that just . . . drew me in. You’ll find this hard to believe based on the way I’ve come on to you, but this isn’t normal for me. I’m actually pretty reserved. I’m having my own share of bewilderment over my boldness because it’s not who I am, or rather who I was,” she said ruefully.
He nuzzled into her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. “I like your honesty. It’s refreshing. There’s no guessing with you. I like that a lot. You don’t play games. I don’t find your forthrightness to be bold or brazen at all. I like knowing where I stand. And let’s face it. If you’d waited for me to make a move, you’d probably have waited forever because I would have never imagined for a single moment that you’d want someone like me. It would have felt to me like reaching for the stars or wishing for the moon. I guess I needed a kick in the ass and you provided that nicely.”