She stretched and then did a quick check to make sure they weren’t forgetting anything important. Her mother’s jewelry was secure in the suitcase. Eve’s wallet with their precious hoard of cash was on the counter, and she shoved it into the backpack, where she’d also put drinks for Cammie and a few of the individually packaged snacks that Donovan had brought.
Donovan’s face flashed in her mind, making her pause. Indecision flickered and she shoved it away. She couldn’t afford to second-guess herself. Not now.
But what if he truly only wanted to help? Was she doing Cammie and Travis a huge disservice by not staying and allowing Donovan to bring a doctor in for Cammie?
Those intense green eyes. Eyes that saw far too much. That probed the very inside of her mind. He was a man who made Eve feel safe, and perhaps that was what scared her the most. Because one mistake, just one, and Cammie and Travis would pay the price for her stupidity. It was better to trust no one, a mantra she’d embraced when they’d fled California, than to risk trusting the wrong person.
But still, she couldn’t shake Donovan Kelly from her mind. He clung tenaciously, refusing to budge. He was handsome, no doubt about that. But it wasn’t his physical attractiveness that intrigued her. Though he definitely had no shortage of physical beauty. The man was built solid from the feet up.
He wasn’t overly tall. Certainly taller than her petite frame, but he didn’t loom over her either. But what he lacked in height, he certainly made up for in other areas. His chest was massive and his upper arms bulged with muscles. It was evident that he stayed physically fit.
But perhaps what had caught her attention the most was simply the way he looked at her. Like he . . . cared. As though somehow their connection was more personal than one of someone helping another human being in need.
Maybe that was fanciful of her. Okay, so it totally was and it made her a flaming moron to even dwell on that possibility. But once it had taken hold, she couldn’t rid herself of that feeling. It was a nice sensation. Warm and soothing. Like he was.
And he’d been wonderful with Cammie. It would have been easy for a man like him to scare the bejeebus out of Cammie, and yet he’d taken great pains not to frighten her. He’d been extremely gentle with her—and Eve for that matter.
In another life, Eve would have had the confidence—and the freedom—to act on such an attraction. She wasn’t overly bold, but neither was she a shy woman afraid to speak her mind. She’d never been one to adhere to outdated societal mores. Such as the man being the one to ask out the woman. If she met a man she was interested in, she’d never hesitated to take the initiative. Some men liked that. Others? Not so much. Their loss.
But now? That Eve no longer existed. Maybe one day she’d get her back. But for now, dating and relationships were at the very bottom of Eve’s priorities. She had a family to protect and raise. She had to stay one step ahead of Walt. Maybe she’d never have a normal life again, but if by not having one she ensured that Travis and Cammie had a quality life, free of Walt’s abuse, then she’d gladly give up any hopes she had of a future of her own.
Besides, what man would be willing to take on a ready-made family like hers? No way she’d ever give Travis or Cammie up. So even if she were in a position to have a normal relationship with a man, it was doubtful that many guys would sign up to raise a teenage boy and a four-year-old girl.
Shaking herself from her ridiculous thoughts—what a monumental waste of time it was to even consider her future when it was absolutely uncertain and changed from day to day—she grabbed the backpack and then pushed the two suitcases to the door so they’d be ready to go when Travis returned with Cammie.
A moment later, Travis came back with Cammie dressed and in her shoes. Eve bent to make sure the laces were secure and that she would be comfortable for the long walk ahead. When Cammie grew tired or didn’t feel well enough to walk, Eve and Travis would take turns carrying her on their backs.
Though they were certainly used to walking great distances and to carrying Cammie, the thought still made Eve grimace. But it had to be done, and the longer they stood here delaying the inevitable, the longer it would take to get to that bus station. And maybe they wouldn’t need to go all the way to Jackson. Clarksville was closer. The army base was there, so there would certainly be a bus depot.
She sighed, racked by indecision. How was she to know what the right choice was? She hadn’t had time to plan this out. Donovan’s visit and his proposed return with a doctor had panicked her. Maybe she should have let the doctor come, find out how serious Cammie’s illness was and then cut and run.
She raised a trembling hand to her temple and massaged as she tried to sort her scattered thoughts.
“Evie?”
Travis’s worried voice broke through her frustration.
“Are you all right?”
Eve nodded and attempted a reassuring smile for him and Cammie both. “I was just thinking. Jackson is so far away. Maybe it would be better if we went to Clarksville and got a bus from there. It puts us farther away from Memphis, but it would cut our walking time down considerably.”
She glanced down at Cammie as she spoke, realizing that it was the right thing to do. Cammie didn’t need to be out in God only knew what kind of weather, in the heat and exposed, for any longer than absolutely necessary.
“I was looking on the map at work earlier,” Travis said. “If we go to Clarksville, then maybe we should consider going north into Kentucky instead of south to Mississippi. And you could pawn the jewelry in Clarksville instead of waiting. They probably have several pawnshops since it’s a military base town, right?”