She licked her lips nervously as she pulled away. For the first time, anxiety burned in her eyes.
It was automatic for him to reach for her. To take her hands. To reassure her in some way.
She vibrated with unease.
“I don’t think we should say anything yet,” she said in a low voice. “It’s early yet. I honestly don’t remember when my last period was. They were kind of irregular after I stopped taking birth control, and I didn’t think anything of it. So I honestly don’t know how far along I am. I won’t know until I see a doctor.”
She took another breath and plunged ahead.
“I’d hate to make this big announcement and for everyone to be so happy and excited for us and then for something to happen. Like last time,” she choked out.
He hugged her to him, stroking his hand over her hair. Though her first miscarriage had happened some years ago, for her it was like yesterday because she hadn’t regained her memory of the event until recently.
“I don’t think I could bear it,” she said in a muffled voice. “It would be bad enough that we knew of our loss, but for everyone else to also have to grieve. I’d rather wait until I’m further along before we tell the others.”
“I agree,” he said firmly.
She swallowed and pulled away to look him in the eye.
“Will you go with me to the doctor? I want so much for you to be with me. For you to share every step of the process with me.”
He grasped her shoulders with gentle hands, but his gaze was intent and fierce.
“Rachel, baby, I’m going to be with you every single minute of the way. I swear it. There is nothing that’s more important to me than you and our baby. Not KGI, not a mission. Nothing. I need you to understand that. No matter what’s happened in the past between us, this is the new us, okay? You come first. Always.”
Joy flared in her eyes. And relief. It was a painful reminder of his past mistakes. But they were mistakes he’d never make again.
He slid his hand down the silky bodice of her top until it rested over her slim belly.
“Our child,” he said in wonder.
She put her hands over his and squeezed. A splash of moisture dripped onto his hand, and he glanced up to see silver trails down her cheeks.
For once, the sight of her tears didn’t rip his heart wide open. Because these weren’t tears of grief or pain. They were tears of extreme joy. Her smile was as wide as a mile, and it was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen in his life.
He’d carry to his deathbed this memory of her on her knees between his legs, his hands covering her belly as she cried tears of happiness.
“We did it, Ethan,” she whispered huskily.
“Hell yeah, we did,” he murmured just before he pressed in to devour her mouth.
Chapter 5
It was typical for Rachel to get up when Ethan did, and while he was out for his run, she’d make breakfast. She loved the early morning routine they’d comfortably fallen into.
Usually she’d brew a pot of coffee because Ethan liked a cup after downing a bottle of water after his workout. But this morning—as with every morning of the past week—the smell of coffee nearly did her in.
Perspiration beaded her forehead, and she swallowed huge gulps of air to try and steady her rebelling stomach. Unfortunately for her, the typical fare she made for breakfast didn’t at all agree with her now that she was pregnant.
Eggs made her want to hurl. Bacon nauseated her. Sweet rolls made her clench her teeth and breathe through her nose. The only safe bet seemed to be dry toast or bread products like croissants or biscuits.
She was leaning over the counter, inhaling settling breaths, when Ethan came in from his run.
“Rachel?” he asked sharply. “Are you okay?”
She quickly twisted around, forcing an appeasing smile to her face. The last thing she wanted was for him to worry. He’d do enough of that on his own without her help.
“I’m fine,” she reassured him. “Honestly. It’s just that certain foods set me off now. Particularly breakfast stuff. I’m super queasy in the mornings. Less so in the afternoons, but I still have to be careful. Eggs and bacon in particular seem to trigger my symptoms.”
Ethan frowned and then carefully moved her away from the stove where the bacon still sizzled and the eggs were hardening up and becoming fluffy.
“Sit,” he ordered.
Then he returned to the stove and finished the eggs and bacon, plating them while she watched.
“What can you eat?” he asked.
“Toast. A croissant. Anything dry.”
“What can you drink?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Mainly Sprite but we don’t have any. I just got the bare essentials at the grocery store yesterday. I need to do a full blown shopping trip today.”
His frown deepened as he popped bread into the toaster.
“We need to talk about the rest of the move. I know you’d planned to go pack boxes and stuff, but I don’t like the idea of you being alone at the house packing around heavier stuff. I know you don’t want to tell the family yet, so we can’t go to them with why I don’t want you doing very much.”
She started to protest but he shook his head, his eyes glinting with the stubbornness the Kellys were famous for.
“It’s Saturday. We aren’t training today so I’ll see if my brothers are free to come help pack boxes and get them onto the truck. If we can get it all done in one big push this weekend then we won’t be unpacking this crap for weeks.”