We lived next door to each other growing up. We went to school together, did everything together, until he moved to America with his family when we were fourteen.
He was also the absolute love of my life, not that he ever knew that of course, and I was devastated when he left.
I don’t have a single childhood memory that doesn’t have Jake in it.
When he left with his family to move thousands of miles away, we vowed to stay in contact. But that was twelve years ago, when there was no internet or mobile phones for kids. Those were things solely reserved for adults, usually the ones with more money than mine or Jake’s family had.
We wrote, had the odd phone call, then the calls from him stopped, and the letters dwindled until they became nonexistent.
I wrote to him for a while, but he never wrote back, so I gave up.
My heart broke for a long time over Jake Wethers. Well, if I’m being honest, I don’t think it actually ever really healed.
And I didn’t see or hear from Jake again, well until six years ago…
I was two years in at university, sharing a flat with my still, to this day, best friend Simone, and she was watching a Saturday music show that used to be on back then. I was nursing a hangover, like most days, and was coming back into the living room, from the kitchen with a coffee in hand and there he was, Jake, on the TV, staring back at me.
He’d grown obviously, looked a little different, yet exactly the same.
Covering my mouth with both my hands, I dropped my cup to the floor, coffee everywhere, but I didn’t care. I stood there transfixed, watching him singing with his band.
I’d heard about this new fast rising band, The Mighty Storm. I’d even heard their songs on the radio, but I’d never seen any pictures of the band members, until that point.
Simone was obviously interested to know why I’d just dressed our living room in coffee, so I sat down and told her my history with Jake. Then we both immediately went to my room to Google him on my computer.
It made sense that Jake became a musician. He loved music as much as I did.
I knew he could hold a note vocally, but I never realised just how great a singer he actually was.
I’ve watched Jake’s career over the years. Watched him rise to stratospheric levels.
And I’ve also watched his lows.
I still care for him, of course; he was my best friend for a huge portion of my life. We shared everything.
But I’m not in love with him anymore. That ended years ago. And really, what do you know about love when you’re a teenager anyway.
One thing I don’t do is tell people I knew Jake growing up.
I’m a private person generally, and I feel like telling people I knew him well would just sound a lot like bragging. And if my friends and colleagues knew I used to be so close to him, they’d want details, and there are things from Jake’s past that I know he wouldn’t want shared, so, for fear of a slip up, I pretend like I never knew him and that I'm just another TMS fan.
Outside of that, and I know I’m going to sound silly when I say this … but talking about Jake would be like sharing him.
The world has him now, and I don’t want to share the Jake I had with anyone, because now, well … from what I see and read in the news, Jake’s not so much like the Jake I knew back then anymore.
He’s now the epitome of the rock star he is meant to be.
The only person I’ve ever told about Jake is Simone, and of course my mum and dad knew Jake too, oh and … well I also told Vicky, but that was in a complete, drunken error.
Last year I was ridiculously drunk at our work Christmas party, and for some unknown, alcohol given reason, I made the fatal error of telling Vicky that I used to know Jake.
And when I say fatal, it’s not because she has told anyone about my connection to him. Oh no, it’s because ever since she found out that we were former buddies, she has been on my back for me to get in touch with him to do an exclusive interview for the magazine.
What Vicky fails to grasp is that I’m no longer friends with Jake, and haven’t been for twelve years. It’s not like I can just call him up to ask him for an interview.
She thinks I can. She thinks that Jake would be made up to hear from me. I know she’s only saying that to try and urge me to get in touch.
But I won’t ever get in touch with Jake. I think if he did want to see me again, then he would have been in touch himself by now.
Honestly, I think he’s forgotten all about me. He’s moved on to bigger and better things, and me rocking back up in his life, asking for an interview, would just be plain awkward and a lot weird, for him as well as me.
I’ve done my best trying to explain this to Vicky, but it’s not sticking, so I’m now at the stage of dodging her whenever his name comes up.
“Earth to Tru, have you listened to a word I’ve just been saying?” Vicky clicks her fingers, instantly bringing my focus back to her and I realise I’d zoned out.
My face flushes. “Um … no sorry.” I bite my bottom lip. “It’s just the whole Jake thing … I know you want me to get in touch but I just can’t–”
She holds a perfectly manicured finger up halting my words.
“Well if you’d been listening to me, my darling, you would have heard that I don’t need your help getting an interview with Jake Wethers after all.”
She’s full on grinning, like a kid who thinks they’ve just seen the real Santa Claus in Harrods.
Damn me and my zone out.