“Addison.”
“Tell me the truth.” Then a whole other idea hit me. “Unless you think I’m part of them. Is that what you think?”
He shook his head. Pain flared in his eyes before he masked it, like he always did. He pushed himself back—an inch, maybe two, but it felt like a rejection. “That’s…that’s the other problem we have.”
“What?”
“I want to tell you. I want to tell you about me, about my family, about my friends. But I can’t.”
“Because of Liam?”
“Because of his family.”
A lump formed in my throat. “They said they’re not a part of that.”
He shook his head. “They’re lying. Liam’s grandmother was a direct descendant of the founding Bertal family.”
“What does that mean?”
“Liam’s great-grandfather started their family business. There were other siblings, but Bea Bertal was active. She ran the books. Even if Liam’s parents claim they aren’t a part of the business, the money trickled down to them, down to Liam, too.”
The inheritance. “What does that matter? You said there’s a truce. What does that have to do with you and me?”
“There might not always be peace.”
His words took mine away. I could be an enemy? Was that what he meant?
“It just means things are complicated,” he added after a moment. “You and me. We’re complicated now.”
My mouth went dry. “You and me?” There was a we to even be complicated? “You’ve been gone for a month.”
“I couldn’t get back until today. Things…got complicated for me.”
“And you can’t tell me about that. You stopped calling and texting. You can’t tell me why? Just like you can’t tell me anything about yourself or about your family, or even about your friends. None of that, right? Because I’m connected to the Bertal family even though I’m not a part of them.” I could feel a flush rising up, covering my neck. It wasn’t the happy kind of flush either. “You’re keeping me out because of people who could be my allies? Am I getting this right? Allies that never showed me any support, that are suing me.”
I shoved off the couch and started to pace. Back and forth. I hugged myself, wrapping my arms tight. “This is ridiculous. All of this. I loved him. I loved Liam so much, and they want to—I don’t even know what they want. They want the house? Is that why they’re suing me? They didn’t give a shit about the house. They didn’t give a shit about me, not until lately.”
“What are you talking about?”
“And you.” I flung a hand out, pointing at him. “You—all hot and hella good in bed. I mean, fuck. Like, fuck. Pun intended. I haven’t felt anything for anyone until you. You swooped into Gianni’s, and my best friend went gaga for you, but I did too. I mean, you’re gorgeous, and you’re ripped. And I always knew you were dangerous. I could just tell. Listen to your gut, that was what Liam always told me. He said if I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m supposed to listen to my gut. Well, my gut took me to your penis, and now look where we are. Your family wants to kill my family, and my family—I don’t even like my family. I’m a Bowman, dammit. I was a Sailer, and your driver called me Sailer. Why did he call me Sailer?”
“My what?”
“The driver downstairs. He called me Sailer.”
Cole frowned. “I don’t know. That order came through Dorian.”
“I thought he said you told him to drive me home.”
“The order came from me, but it would’ve been Dorian who called him.”
“Oh.” I cleared my head. I could still feel that flush; it was covering my ears. “I was a Sailer, but I’m not anymore. I’m a Bowman. No matter who I’ve been with, I’ve always been a Bowman. I’m not a Bertal. I am not with them. I was haunted every day and every night after Liam died, and it only stopped when I came here.” I stared at Cole, but it was more than staring. I had so many damn walls.
I was tired of the walls, of the secrets, of the not knowing. My voice grew hoarse. “I stopped hearing his voice after I came here. I can still feel him, but in a good way—like we’re laughing together again, or he wants me to be happy. And the nights with you… I haven’t felt like myself in so long. You gave that to me. I wasn’t Liam’s wife or his widow those nights. I was me. I was Addison. That’s all I was, and I loved it.”
Tears fell down my cheeks
I whispered, “I came to you, and the ghosts left me.”
His eyes darkened, and he stood. He moved close, stopping just out of reach. I could feel his heat. My walls were down now, so were his. The mask was gone, and I saw the lust inside of him. I saw more, a whole lot more, but I clung to the lust because my body was starting to react. My mouth watered, and that ache—the ache that hadn’t been filled in a month—began to throb once more.
I wanted him.
He grinned, faintly, before taking the last step. His body touched mine, and I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling. Hard. Strong. And more, so much more.
“I’m going to pick you up,” he murmured. He spoke to me like I was a wounded animal. Like he wanted to comfort me, but he didn’t want to scare me away. He was soothing and seducing me all at the same time.
And that was exactly what I wanted.