Some people considered mental illness a stigma, something to be ashamed of. She thought of it as chronic illness, a burden to bear when it wasn’t controlled, and merely another facet of someone’s life when it was. For her sister, Lexie still had hope.
She didn’t, however, know how Kade viewed things. Not wanting to see judgment in his gaze, she busied herself carrying the plates back to the table.
“I’m sorry. It’s not easy growing up with any kind of issues dragging you down.”
Something about the way he spoke told her not only didn’t he judge, he might actually understand.
She raised a shoulder. “It wasn’t. It isn’t. But when someone is ill, you learn to put them first, no matter what else is going on in life,” she said, knowing she was talking about more than her mother. But he didn’t need to hear about her sister too.
She picked up the fork and began twirling the long strands.
“I admire that,” he said, taking her by surprise.
She swallowed hard, caught up with emotion. “Thank you.”
“Not many women—I mean people—would be so selfless.”
She glanced away. “Well, I’m not an angel.” She lifted the pasta toward her mouth, realizing there were still long pieces attached to the ones on her plate.
She lowered the utensil, shook her head, and began to laugh, breaking the tension between them.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Spaghetti is, hands down, the worst date food on the planet. Not that we’re on a date,” she rushed to correct herself. He was her boss, and though he’d said he wanted to get to know her better, he hadn’t elaborated.
And she shouldn’t presume. “I mean…”
“I know what you mean.” He grinned.
A full-on smile that could only mean he’d dropped his defenses, and it transformed his face. He was sexy at any time, but in this moment, he resembled the young boy in the photo, and she was fully engaged by him.
“Thank you for sharing about your mother,” he said, taking her off guard by returning to their previous conversation.
She nodded. “It’s not easy to talk about things that hurt you.” She deliberately avoided pushing him to open up but hoped he understood she’d listen if he chose to.
“No. But you seem like you’d be a good listener too.”
“I am,” she said and let it go at that.
Silence ticked by, and he stared into her eyes, the emotional tension slowly turning into something different. The kind of undeniable awareness between a man and a woman who were attracted to one another. And she was attracted to this enigmatic man and all his different facets. Especially when he looked at her like he wanted to eat her for dinner. Or dessert.
Feeling breathless, even a little aroused, she did what she could to diffuse the desire arcing between them.
“So how about we dig into this meal and stop worrying about who gets sauce on their face?” she said, giving him an easygoing smile.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, that sexy gaze never leaving hers. And as a result, she spent the rest of the evening in a heightened state of sexual desire for a man she had to face in the morning.
As her difficult, demanding boss.
* * *
Lexie arrived at work the next morning after a night spent tossing and turning, thanks to the afternoon and evening spent with her boss. But he hadn’t felt like her boss when she’d confided in him about her mother. Lexie didn’t normally talk to people about her problems or her past. Heck, she didn’t have any friends left to confide in. No one had patience for the way Lexie chose to live her life.
As she’d insinuated to Kade, she put her sister first. And that cost her friends she’d stood up or walked out on early when Kendall had needed her. It’d cost her her high school sweetheart, who’d gone to the same college and had stuck around through all of the trials and tribulations that came with Lexie. Until she’d decided to take a leave in order to be there for Kendall during her first hospitalization.
As much as John cared and even tried to understand, he’d wanted her to put her own life first. To put them first. And she just couldn’t leave her twin in an institution in another state and focus on school or her own love life. Even the patient John had had his limits. As had any man who’d come after him. Until she no longer bothered to date, putting her love life on hold.
She shook off those thoughts and focused on work, walking in earlier than nine a.m., when Kade was supposed to be in. She stopped by the windows overlooking the city, where the coffeemaker was located, a high-end office Keurig single-serving machine, and carefully mixed three sugars into the black coffee, setting it on her boss’s desk at 9:00.
By 9:05, he hadn’t arrived, and she dumped the cup, keeping in mind he liked his coffee hot. She’d have reheated it in the microwave, but Kade also liked his coffee fresh. And nobody else in the office wanted it quite so sweet. She’d asked.
From that point on, she settled in to wait for him to arrive, keeping an eye on the elevator that opened up directly onto the floor. Her plan was to make the coffee whenever he showed up, and she jumped every time the noise sounded to announce the elevator’s arrival. Ten minutes passed. Then twenty.
While she waited, both Lucas’s and Derek’s personal assistants stopped by her desk to introduce themselves. Everyone was on a first-name basis, including the men in charge, which made for a lighter atmosphere. Their PAs, Tessa and Becky, were both around Lexie’s age and extremely friendly. Although they offered their condolences because she was Kade’s newest assistant.