Heidi made a sniffling sound. He looked at her and was surprised to see she had tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”
“It’s nothing.” She faked a smile.
He would never understand women, he thought grimly. But he didn’t have to understand all of them. Just his wife. Once again he reminded himself she was nothing like Yasmin. Heidi deserved his attention, and they deserved a second chance.
He reached out and lightly touched the back of her hand. “You’re right about us taking things slowly,” he said. “Let’s do that. Let’s try to be friends and start over.”
“I’d like that,” she murmured as more tears slipped down her cheeks. “I’d like that v-very much. But I have to go now.”
Before he knew what had happened, Heidi had run out of the room and into the sanctuary of her bedroom. He thought about following her, but he wasn’t sure what he would say when he caught her. It was easier to just let her go.
He leaned back against the sofa and stared into his drink. Life had been much simpler before she’d shown up. Apparently he didn’t have much luck in the wife department. Was the problem them, or was it him?
He thought about the other women in his life. The part-time lovers and mistresses Heidi had asked him to give up. She’d wanted him to respect his wedding vows. Ironically, he had ended all those liaisons. It had been surprisingly easy to walk away from those women. He’d actually been eager to be faithful to his wife.
So here he was…alone. No other women and a wife who didn’t want him in her bed. Right back where he’d started. Marriage was, he decided as he took a large swallow of his drink, a highly overrated institution.
Chapter 7
Heidi flung herself on the bed and let go of the sobs she’d been holding back. They ripped through her, making her hug a pillow to her chest in a futile attempt to find comfort. Only there wasn’t any. It was all so much worse than she’d first thought.
Jamal still loved Yasmin.
Why hadn’t she seen that before? Why hadn’t she guessed? No wonder he’d been so angry with her on their wedding night. Her being in that tent with him had probably reminded him of his first night with Yasmin…when their love had been fresh and new. When they’d both thought they would have all the time in the world together.
But Yasmin had been cruelly taken away from him long before either of them was ready. Jamal had been left alone to suffer. To learn to deal with his grief and to get on with his life. He’d described that time as hell and had vowed he never wanted to live through it again.
Her breath caught in her throat as a fresh wave of pain washed over her. She’d been such a fool. None of his rejection was truly about her. He’d been longing for Yasmin. Longing for his one true love. What he had instead was her.
It wasn’t fair, she thought as more tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Now she could never win Jamal. Their marriage was doomed before it even began. He would always hold himself back. He would always love Yasmin best.
She wasn’t sure how long she lay there on the bed, wishing she’d never agreed to the marriage. Not because she didn’t want to be with Jamal, but because she did. She’d wanted to find a way to make their marriage work. Now, that was impossible. She didn’t have a clue as to how to get through to him. Besides, she could never compete with Yasmin.
Heidi sat up and sniffed. It was all so horrible. She had met Yasmin several times during her summer visits to El Bahar. Jamal’s late wife had been beautiful, elegant and self-assured. Her clothes were of the highest quality. More importantly, the colors and styles always flattered her. She wore exactly the right outfit for each occasion. Her jewels had glittered, as had her conversation. If she wasn’t exactly kind to a gawky young woman from America, well, Heidi couldn’t blame her. Being around Yasmin had always left her tongue-tied. Jamal’s late wife had probably thought her a dolt.
Is that what Jamal thought of her too? That she was inept and stupid and a joke? She swallowed hard, fighting a wave of tears. She had to get control and figure out what she was going to do now.
Maybe she should just leave. Maybe it would be better for everyone if she gave up her dream job and her marriage and returned to the States. She could find work of some kind and try to forget this had ever happened. Except…except she didn’t want to leave. El Bahar had always been the closest thing she’d ever had to a home. She loved it here. She adored her work, the palace, and the country itself. How could she leave the king and Fatima? How could she leave Jamal?
Heidi walked into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. She was clueless as to how to keep her husband, yet she wasn’t ready to let him go. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.
She reached for a towel and dried her skin. As she peered in the mirror, trying to figure out if her eyes looked as puffy as she thought, a slight movement caught her attention. She turned her head and saw a dress hanging on the back of the bathroom door. The air-conditioning had come on, and the breeze from the vent overhead made the skirt flutter.
Heidi tossed down the towel and fingered the hem of the dress. The light silk fabric was as soft as fairy wings, while the deep red color screamed sexiness. There weren’t any sleeves, and the tiny straps didn’t look strong enough to hold up the bodice of the dress for any length of time. The short skirt would expose more thigh than it covered. Heidi McKinley would never wear a dress like this, but then it hadn’t been meant for her. This dress was for Honey Martin—mistress in the making.