Last weekend, Will had suggested they all go to the zoo. It had been a long time since Jane had taken the kids to the zoo. She didn’t know why. Busy with stuff and other things to do, she supposed. But the kids loved the idea, so off they went.
A lot had changed at the zoo. A lot had changed in her life lately, too. Namely having Will a part of it.
Tabitha loved Will. At the zoo, she’d held his hand and dragged him to all the exhibits. Apparently Tabitha and Will shared a love of penguins, so it had practically taken an act of Congress to get the two of them to leave the penguin exhibit. Only the suggestion of lunch had pried them away.
And then there was Will and Ryan’s shared love of sports. Will had talked to Ryan about baseball, and Ryan had asked if Will would like to come to one of his games, which Will of course said he definitely wanted to do.
Since tonight was the next scheduled game, Will had showed up, just as he said he would. And the third base coach had come up sick, so Will had gamely offered to pitch in and help.
Jane had to work at the day-care center, so she hadn’t been there, but they’d met at the house for pizza afterward, and Ryan had given her practically an inning by inning recap. He had a definite case of hero worship. Apparently Will was an aggressive third base coach, so he’d pushed a couple of the kids to run like hell for home on a couple doubles, resulting in them winning the game by two runs against a pretty powerhouse team.
“You should have seen it, Mom. I thought Coach was going to explode. But Will was right. He had seen Henry and Brandon run, so he knew they were fast and they could sprint for home and beat the throws. It was awesome. He made the right calls.”
Jane looked to Will. “And you didn’t get in trouble with the coach?”
Will gave her a look, one of those supremely confident masculine ones that curled her toes. “Please. I was in charge of third base. I knew what I was doing. No way would I have waved them on if I wasn’t sure they were going to be safe.”
“See, Mom?” Ryan said.
“I do see. Well done, Will. And I’m glad the team won.”
After pizza, Will helped Ryan with his geography homework while Jane worked with Tabitha on her spelling. It felt like a family. Epically scary, but solidly comfortable at the same time.
She didn’t quite know what to make of that.
She gave Tabitha a bath and got the kids settled for bed, then came out to hang out with Will. They watched a movie for a while.
“I hear Ryan wants to go to a camp next summer.”
She paused the movie and turned to him. “Where did you hear that?
“From Ryan.”
“Oh. Yes, there’s a camp he wants to go to, but it’s too expensive, so I had to tell him no.”
“He told me that, too.” Will half turned on the sofa to face her. “The thing is, I was wondering if you’d let me pay for it.”
“No.”
He arched a brow. “Why not?”
“Because…just no. Thank you, but no.”
“Jane. I want to do it for him. It’s a great camp. I went there when I was a kid. They have awesome activities like archery and canoeing and backpacking. It’s good physical exercise and a chance to learn to work as a team. They have a great counselor-to-kid ratio, and it’s reputable.”
She didn’t want to have this conversation about the camp—again—and especially not with Will. “I don’t have a problem with the camp, I just can’t afford to send Ryan there. Maybe someday, but not now.”
He let the topic fall off—for about five minutes, before turning to her again. “Is there some problem with me wanting to help out?”
She sighed. “Yes. I’m the parent. You’re not. I don’t need or want your charity.”
“Ouch. It wasn’t charity. It was a gift.”
She knew she wouldn’t be able to explain this right, but she had to try. “Look, Will. I appreciate it, but my kids need to learn to live within the means I can provide them without outside help. I’m the parent and I need to give them what I can afford to give them. And if I can’t afford to provide them something, then they have to learn to go without. It’s not like basic food or clothing or shelter. This is a luxury item.”
“I get that, I really do, Jane. But I have the money and I kind of thought I was part of your life. Part of their lives. Why won’t you let me do this for Ryan?”
“Because you’re not his father. And you’re not a part of his life.”
The words had fallen out of her mouth before she’d thought about what she’d said. And now she couldn’t take them back.
Will looked stricken.
“Will. That’s not what I meant. Let me explain.”
“It’s okay.” He stood.
“It’s not okay. Let’s talk about this.”
“No, really. I understand. I’m gonna go.”
She stood and followed him to the door. “Please don’t leave.”
He turned to her. “I appreciate and respect your independence, Jane. But at some point you’re going to have to open up and let someone in, and that means sharing your life with the kids. And that means letting someone help, even financially. I know that’s a sore spot for you, but—” He shrugged. “Whatever.”
He walked out and she stood at the door, watching him as he got into his car and left.
She didn’t know what to say. She was right to turn him down.
Wasn’t she?
* * *
“So you told him no?”
“I did.”
“Why?” Chelsea asked as they ate lunch in the teacher’s lunchroom.
“Because I need to provide for my children. And I’d already told Ryan that he couldn’t go.”
“Well, that was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before you started seeing Will. You two are getting kind of serious, aren’t you?”
Jane shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Chelsea rolled her eyes. “Come on, Jane. You’re together almost every night. He does things not only with you but with you and the kids. It’s obvious to everyone in town that you two are a couple, and that he loves your children. If he wants to help you send Ryan to that summer camp, what’s the problem?”
She lifted her chin. “I want to be able to send Ryan to summer camp. I want to do those things for my kids. I don’t want to depend on some guy to help me out.”