Neither of them had defined their relationship. Neither spoke about a future — or even a present, when it came down to it. Brielle was terrified to open herself up to this man any more than she already had, but it seemed much too late even to think about closing herself off.
She’d never actually been in a “relationship.” Yes, there was the guy from college, her first lover, but that had only been a few times, and they were never a real couple. They’d just dated, and because all of her friends had gone on and on about how great sex was, she figured she ought to experience it.
When it still wasn’t spectacular after a few tries, she’d decided that pairing was over and done with. The guy hadn’t been heartbroken. He’d just moved on. Later, there was the man she’d met in Paris. Now that had been better sex, but afterward she’d still felt almost hollow inside. Sure, her body had been satisfied, but nothing like this. What she shared with Colt...it was something she couldn’t put into words.
And so she was in bed with a man in what most would term a relationship, but she had no idea where the two of them stood. It wasn’t as if she’d change her life for him. She wouldn’t stay in Montana after she’d made a success of the ranch, and he was a country boy through and through.
Just thinking about this filled her with panic. She wasn’t ready to put a label on what the two of them had together, but she also wasn’t willing to let him go.
As she glanced at the clock and realized it was nearing nine in the morning, her heart began racing. Her father was scheduled to arrive in less than an hour, and no way in hell did she want him to come in and find Colt.
She couldn’t even explain to herself what the two of them were; how could she explain it to her dad? She’d finally been speaking to her father over the phone, was finally losing some of the resentment she’d been holding on to, and she didn’t want to ruin their fragile new beginning by having him think she was shacking up with a man she’d known such a short time. But the bed was so warm, and she was having a difficult time untangling herself from her lover. Wait. Was that the right word?
“Good morning.”
Startled, she looked up and found those bright hazel eyes open and looking right at her, and he had a lazy smile on his lips. His arms tightened and he pulled her closer.
“No. I haven’t brushed my teeth,” she said, turning away.
That didn’t stop him. He chuckled, and then his hand was tangled in her mussed hair and he was pulling her on top of him and bringing her mouth to his. Within seconds, she forgot all about her morning breath, and she was lost in the intoxicating scent of his masculinity.
When he released her mouth, she felt the hard evidence of his desire pressing against her core. “Mmm,” he purred as he slid his hands down her back and pressed them against her behind, letting her feel the effect she had on him — in full. But she still tried to wriggle away.
“I can’t, Colt. I have to get up.”
“I’m already up, darling, so let’s play.” He flipped the two of them over so she was lying on her back with his arousal firmly — oh, so firmly — between her legs, his h*ps moving against hers in the most pleasurable way. If they hadn’t both been wearing pajama bottoms, he’d already be inside her, and why not? She was wet and ready.
“I really can’t. My father will be here soon, and I don’t want him to find me in bed and tussling with you.”
“You’re an adult. I’m sure he knows you have sex, Brielle.” He began nibbling on her neck.
“You obviously don’t have a daughter. I don’t think any father wants to believe his daughter ever has sex,” she said with a small laugh as he moved down her neck and kissed the spot right between her br**sts.
He paused and she nearly groaned in frustration, but pausing was what she needed him to do. She had to climb from this bed, get him out of her house, and take a nice long hot shower. It would take her the entire hour to work up the courage to face her father.
Yes, she had learned more about the ranch, but not enough. She was so afraid he was going to deem her a complete failure. She could tell herself that it didn’t matter, but she knew it did. She knew that she didn’t want her dad to look at her like the spoiled brat he thought she was.
For years she’d done everything she could to make him and her brothers believe she didn’t give a damn, but after only a couple of months in Montana, she was rethinking her entire life. What people thought about her mattered. What her dad thought about her mattered.
This visit had to be a good one. It just had to.
“Please, Colt. I…” She didn’t want to beg him, but she was so close to caving in and that would be disastrous.
He must have read her body language, because he stopped and rolled off her, then sat up, pulled her onto his lap, and held her close. The sweet embrace was almost her undoing.
“I’m sorry, Brielle. You’re right.” He kissed her temple while rubbing along her spine. After a few moments, he let her go, sliding out from beneath her and standing up.
“I’ll get out of here so you can have time with your dad.”
Was that hurt in his voice? Did he think she was ashamed of him? She would never want him to think that. “Wait, Colt!”
He had put on his jeans and was moving toward the bedroom door, but he turned and looked at her. She couldn’t read the expression in his eyes, but she needed to say something. She feared that if she didn’t, he might walk from the room and then she’d never see him again.
“I…” She paused, at a loss for words. “You know that I don’t care that you’re a ranch hand, right?”
His eyes widened as he looked at her for a second and then took a step closer. “Are you sure about that, Brielle?” His gaze seemed to burn right through her.
“Of course that doesn’t matter. Your working for me has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t want my dad to find you in my bed. You could be the prince of a foreign country, the president of the United States, a lawyer, doctor, anything. It wouldn’t matter. All that would matter was that you were in my bed. My dad already thinks so poorly of me. I just…”
Why was it that she always revealed too much of herself to this man? He, however, was oddly quiet about himself and especially about his emotions.
Heck, she didn’t even know where he slept when he wasn’t in her bed. Maybe if he wanted to climb into her bed again, she should make him begin sharing more with her. Yes! He was definitely going to have to start telling her things about himself, or they weren’t spending one more night together.