Would Bryson think differently of her now? Of course, that was almost a stupid question, because she really had no clue what he’d thought of her before she’d told her ugly tale. She knew she was developing feelings for him, but wasn’t it more of a white-knight complex? He was there to save her, a quintessential damsel in distress, from the evil dragon. When this was over, one way or another, she was sure these strange feelings would go away — this need for him to be nearby would evaporate.
If Misty had felt nothing for Bryson — no attraction, no thoughts, no…lust — then she could have dealt with the situation far more easily. And anyway, because she was so torn up, so ragged, so raw, could she trust her feelings at all? Maybe she was attracted to him because that was easier to handle than thinking about her ex and the horrendous things he’d done to her.
Maybe she was projecting her emotions. And getting them all muddled up.
What would it be like to be in a relationship with a man like Bryson? Did he just seem like a white knight now, but when he got close to a woman, did he turn into a monster? How did two people find each other and live happily together? She knew those existed — they had to, or why would babies still be born? Why would anyone marry? There had to be happy endings out there. Maybe she just wasn’t one of the lucky ones.
She hadn’t even been given a family, the one thing she wanted more than anything else. No. Instead, she got to walk this world alone. That had to be why she was having fantasies about a life with Bryson. He was the first man ever to be kind to her. Still, it was his job; it wasn’t about her at all.
Bryson had it all already. A family. Friends he loved and respected. For all she knew, he could have someone special in his life now. Maybe the way their eyes connected was just a part of his job. It made more sense than that he might actually be attracted to her. Because, having it all, Bryson certainly didn’t need her.
Their lives were just so different. If he disappeared tomorrow, there would be a manhunt for him. He would be missed by his family, by his friends, by the ones he protected. That was something that would never happen with her. She had disappeared for an entire year, and Bryson had come looking for her only because he needed her to testify. If she hadn’t been mixed up with Jesse, she could have walked off into the night without a single soul the wiser. A single soul who gave a damn.
Of course, if she hadn’t known Jesse, she wouldn’t have needed to disappear. But then again, where had her life been going? Nowhere. She was working a dead-end job, living in a ghastly apartment, and she had no friends, no purpose.
How long until she just naturally faded away on her own? Anger filled her as these thoughts flitted through her mind. Okay, so she’d been abandoned as a baby, but that didn’t make her worthless. Everybody deserved a chance to shine. Perhaps she just hadn’t found her moment yet.
“Are you doing all right back there?” Bryson asked.
She blinked, and it took a moment to realize he was speaking to her. Her emotions were already whirling, and the gentle tone of his voice, the concern in his shadowed eyes as he looked back at her, made it even worse. She’d given her deposition. Why did he even care how she was feeling? It made no sense.
Just as the attraction she felt toward him made no sense.
When she finally spoke — “I’m fine” — her voice came out scratchy, raw, exposed, just like her, as she struggled to subdue the violent tears threatening to erupt.
He twisted around in his seat, then reached back and carefully laid his hand on her knee, squeezing gently. “We’re almost there. I should have sat in the back with you.”
“No. I promise, I’m all right.” She wanted him to stop before she gave in and let out the full explosion brewing inside her.
His eyes told her he didn’t believe her, but at least he released her knee and turned forward again. She slumped against the backseat and closed her eyes as she took in several deep, cleansing breaths.
If she wasn’t careful, she’d think she was falling in love with this stranger. Logically, she knew it couldn’t be real. She didn’t know him, and he certainly didn’t know her, or know anything about her beyond what she’d said today. And that wasn’t pretty.
She tried to be smart, tried to explain to herself what she was feeling, but it was beyond her. All she could wonder was this: what was she doing even thinking that another man was attractive, especially after reliving her past with Jesse? Surely most women would never contemplate entering another relationship after the trauma she’d been through. But most women weren’t as lonely as she’d been most of her life.
And most guys didn’t show as much compassion as Bryson had shown toward her. It was all for the testimony, she forced herself to remember — or was it? Sometimes it seemed like more. It seemed as if he actually cared. But that was foolish, wasn’t it?
The SUV stopped, and Misty quickly tucked away her thoughts, telling herself that everything was fine, that this had been a hard day. Now they were going to enjoy a friendly meal, and then she’d go to her room and sleep.
The next day, they’d head back home, and that was the last she’d see of Bryson until the trial. There was no way she was going to analyze how much that thought bothered her.
If she never saw Bryson again, she would never experience his lips against hers. She despised herself for it, but it seemed almost the only thing on her mind of late. When she recalled how his eyes had blazed in anger over what Jesse had done to her, she found herself wanting to wrap her arms around Bryson, wanting to thank him, wanting to feel his kiss. She knew it wasn’t about his touch — just the idea of a man’s touch terrified her — but it was about a connection, about actually feeling something other than fear when in the presence of a man. And Bryson inspired no fear, except maybe of her bizarre feelings for him.
Her door opened and there he was standing in front of her, looking so incredibly handsome. “Madam,” he said with a flourish, and after a moment, she smiled shyly, his over-the-top goofy grin driving away the dark thoughts she’d been having.
She was stunned into silence by his sudden flirtatiousness. Her eyes surveyed the scene, noting that Camden was leaning against the car, not saying a word. Wasn’t Bryson’s behavior a little unprofessional? Her emotions were so raw, she didn’t know what to do, so she sat there dumbfounded.
When the silence dragged on, his teasing expression vanished; he held out a hand and said in a more even tone. “Please, may I escort you to dinner?”