“What were you doing?” she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowed on his handsome features. She knew exactly what he’d been doing and he didn’t appear embarrassed at having been caught!
Emerson tore his eyes away, looking into hers. “Admiring the artwork,” he said with a slight smile. “Let’s go.”
She followed him out, not taking the time or energy to be angry with him about his voyeuristic tendencies. She followed behind him, reading the information in the file folder as they descended once again to the street level. Sure enough, the driver was already standing by so all they had to do was dive into the back of the sleek, black car and the driver sped them away towards their destination. She didn’t even need to look up from the material.
Unfortunately, the ride was short and she didn’t have time to read through all of the information, much less memorize what she had been able to read. So she stepped out of the car, ready to wing it for the night and hoping she didn’t let Ja…Emerson down at some terribly awkward moment.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to say too much. The food at the gala was almost decadent and everyone appeared to be having a fabulous time, laughing and conversing, kissing cheeks and welcoming Emerson back into their fold. For his part, Emerson was the ultimate charmer, moving her from group to group, introducing her to everyone and ensuring that she was included in all the conversations. After leaving the dinner, they went through the same motions, had almost the same conversations and the reaction to Emerson’s appearance was just as tedious as at the dinner party. The elegant living room and dining room in the house were lit up with lights everywhere and the champagne and other drinks were floating all around on trays held aloft by experienced waiters and waitresses.
By the time Emerson led her back into his penthouse, she was so tired she thought that her eyes might be covered with sandpaper. All she wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep without shoes. She didn’t care about anything else, just getting these forest green stilettos off of her feet would be bliss.
She wasn’t sure if she even brushed her teeth before she fell into the big bed. A part of her mind told her to find another room, that this was Emerson’s bed and she shouldn’t be sleeping with him after all of his lies, but she was too tired to move, much less care at this point.
Rachel wasn’t even aware of Emerson stripping off his tuxedo and coming to bed. Nor did she wake up when he pulled her into his arms, making sure that her head was resting on his chest instead of the pillow. It took him a long time to fall asleep though. Holding Rachel close, all he wanted to do was bury himself in her heat and make love to her. But she was exhausted and he preferred his lovers conscious and he knew that she was still confused and angry.
Patience, he told himself. He had to make this work. He had to keep her in his life.
Chapter 5
Rachel suppressed the pain caused by sleep deprivation and pretended like everything was okay. But it wasn’t okay. She was miserable and feeling hopeless. What was worse, she had no idea how to get out of this mess she’d created for herself.
She’d been living with Emerson in Manhattan for almost a month now and she felt like she was going to break if he asked one more thing of her.
She spoke to Nikki and Brianna barely once a week now, missing them terribly. They tried to be encouraging, but Rachel could hear the concern in their voices. She was simply too tired and overwhelmed to figure out how to reassure both of them.
And, what made everything worse, she wanted Emerson so badly, she was almost crying over her need to have him hold her and make love to her. Unfortunately, she knew that she’d brought all of this on herself. After that first night, she’d put her foot down about sleeping in another room. She’d woken up to him kissing her neck. It had been the first test of her strength to pull out of his arms that morning and she’d almost failed. She had no idea where she’d found the power, but she’d pushed him away, shaking her head and informing him in no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t have sex with a stranger.
Of course, that didn’t stop him from trying. Every night, he took her into his arms, kissed her until she was nearly senseless with desire. So far, she’d been able to withstand his drugging kisses, but she was holding on only through sheer stubbornness over how he’d made her look like a fool.
If she could go back and do all of this over again, she’d completely eliminate that speech she’d given to Jack last month. Her feelings had changed about needing to make it in New York, not letting herself down and facing her fears. If she had her way, she’d move up to Cape Elizabeth, buy herself a computer and start a small investment firm with just the locals as her clients.
Or maybe she’d do something completely different. Something that had nothing to do with investments or money or stocks. Maybe she would do something with her hands, something that would keep her mind from ever having to calculate stock ratios or profit variances.
First, she would sleep for a whole week, she interjected into her fantasy.
Now that she’d had a taste of both sides, she knew that she preferred the simple life. What she was doing now, it wasn’t living. It was surviving. And she was barely even doing that! She’d heard Wall Street referred to as a jungle but this wasn’t a jungle. At least in the jungle, there were moments of peace and tranquility, a few spectacular pauses where the surrounding beauty could still one’s heart.
This was guerrilla warfare. Living in Manhattan, trying to keep up with all the latest gossip and discovering hidden problems with potential target companies, listening to endless people trying to convince her to invest in this company or that commodity…it was a sad and pathetic lifestyle that she had grown to hate. From the moment she woke up in the morning alone until Emerson took her into his arms at night to try and convince her to come to bed with him, she hated every moment of this life.
If only Emerson could go back to being Jack again. She had no idea what he was thinking most of the time. His face was blank, not giving her any clue as to what he might feel or think or care about. Until he took her into his arms. Then she knew exactly what he was thinking.
At least, she assumed what he was thinking.
And she really didn’t like that. She wanted him to care about her. She used to love the man but she’d been in love with Jack. She didn’t know this Emerson man. She had no idea what he wanted in life except to make more money.$