“No!” she called out when his hand touched her breast at the same time his teeth nipped at her ear lobe. It was too much and she couldn’t understand what was happening to her. The feelings were frightening and she called out a halt, grateful when Alec allowed her the space. Helen pulled back and, in his surprise at her reaction, he allowed her the freedom.
Alec watched in stunned surprise as she backed up, her eyes wide with fear and desire. “Helen?” he asked, taking a step closer but she shook her head, holding her shaking hands up in front of her and closing her eyes. She swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to gather her wits and explain.
“Have you never…”
“No!” she interrupted him and steadied herself against his desk. “No. I haven’t. I need to go.”
She started to move toward the door but he stopped her by the expedient way of simply stepping in front of her. “I won’t let you go. You need to stay and talk to me. If we need to go to a restaurant where others can see us then that’s fine.”
“Alec,” she said, starting to reach up and touch his chest but she pulled her fingers back before she made contact with him. Unfortunately, he was having none of that and took her hand to press it to the middle of his chest. She shuddered and tried to pull her hand away but he wouldn’t let her, in fact he moved closer. “I can’t,” she whispered. “You wouldn’t understand. Please just respect the fact that I can’t do….this….” she said awkwardly, “with you.”
“I won’t accept that. And I do respect you. I respect you enough to know that something is holding you back from a relationship with me. I need you to tell me what that is so I can eliminate it.”
Helen had to laugh at his arrogance. He honestly believed there wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix and make right. Or at least right enough in his mind. “That’s very admirable of you but this isn’t one of those things that can just go away.”
Thankfully, the phone rang at that moment. He sighed and stepped back, releasing her hand. “We’re not done with this conversation. We’ll finish it as soon as I can get rid of whoever is on the phone.”
He turned his back to her and walked around his desk, picking up the phone and snapping out a greeting. Helen listened to him for a moment, trying to decide when would be a good time to escape. He turned around to sort through some documents and Helen knew that this was the perfect time to simply slip out the door.
But she didn’t. She stayed right where she was and waited, watching in amazement as he discussed numbers off the top of his head, demanding more information and it was as if she could see the wheels turning inside his mind as he analyzed the data and made decisions. The commands were about dollar values that she couldn’t even comprehend, in terms and financial jargon that she’d studied only vaguely in school but had no practical knowledge of. She was simply in awe of his amazing intelligence and it startled her to admit that to herself.
She saw him glance in her direction and it surprised her so much, she almost flinched. What exactly she was waiting for, she wasn’t sure. Would Alec listen to the promise she’d given to her very old-fashioned father ten years ago? Would he understand her position and leave her alone? Could they be friends? Looking at his tall body and muscles rippling underneath the fabric of his shirt, she knew the answer. Alec was not a “friend” kind of man.
She and Alec could never be friends. They could definitely be lovers for as long as the passion lasted but then where would that leave her? Would he marry her? And if he did, how long would that last? Her carefree mother and business oriented father had lasted for only five years before the inevitable break up. Two completely different souls could not last, especially in this world. Could she and Alec last longer? What would happen to her at the end of their marriage? Would she be able to fall in love with someone else? Her mother hadn’t. Deep down, Helen knew that her mother pined for her father almost constantly, that they were both still madly in love with each other and living miserable lives separately.
No, a relationship between herself and Alec made no sense. She had to get away and run as fast as she could from this incredible man. And if she never met anyone like him again? Well, at least she could find someone else before her feelings were too involved. She didn’t want to fall in love with Alec and find herself fighting with him all the time, then leaving him because the fights were too much to live with, hurt too deeply or that they found that their love had been killed by the hurt and anger of their fighting.
Taking a deep breath, Helen stood up and walked quietly to the door, slipped out when he was distracted and walked out of the now empty reception area to the elevators. Her heart was beating the entire time, wondering if he would realize she’d left and come after her. A part of her was honest enough to admit she wanted him to do exactly that. She wanted Alec to take the decision out of her hands and make love to her, show her what it was all about and her promise be damned. But she couldn’t. That would be breaking her word and she couldn’t do that to her father. She loved him and it would break his heart if she became some wealthy man’s mistress, which is all she could be with Alec.
Out on the street, she pulled herself together and hurried to the subway station. She had to get out of here. She had a photo shoot tomorrow and she needed to get ready for it. She had things to do and places to go, film to pick up, memory cards for her digital cameras to clear up and download to her computer so they were free for the next day, processing chemicals to purchase. She had to get going and most importantly, never think about Alec, nor come into close proximity with the man that could make her forget a very important promise.
Helen pushed herself until late that night. After she’d gotten ready for the next day, she grabbed her camera and headed out of her tiny apartment. She couldn’t stay there and think or she’d go insane so she followed her nose to the park and took pictures of kids on the play ground and when it became too dark for children to be out playing, she snapped night shots of the city lights, the cars zooming along the boulevards and the people mingling on the sidewalks, eager to get home to their families or whatever their plans were for the night.
It was after midnight before she allowed herself to crawl into bed. She prayed she would be able to sleep without dreams of Alec invading her mind. He’d been there for the past seven nights, wouldn’t it be nice to have at least one night where she didn’t wake up yearning for something that was too dangerous for her to handle?