The problem, she thought with another deep sigh, was that deciding not to feel something was very different from actually not feeling it. And just as she was unable to stop her shivers from taking her over head to toe, she was very much afraid that she wasn’t going to be able to keep her attraction to Grayson at bay for very much longer, either.
Fortunately, she knew that as long as she never acted on it, he certainly wouldn’t. Talk about a completely unbendable, rigid guy. It was his way or the highway.
And she was definitely not a way he had any intention of going.
He couldn’t have said even a hundred words to her today, and they’d been working outside with each other for hours. She’d never said so little to anyone in all her life...or been quite so powerfully aware of someone else. Once he’d gotten her going on the fence and could be reasonably well assured that she wasn’t going to completely screw up her part of it, he’d left her to her own thoughts, only stopping by to look over her shoulder at her workmanship every half hour or so.
Amazingly, despite the fact that she didn’t have anything else to focus on but the patterns of the twisting wires in her hands, thoughts of Victor hadn’t assaulted her, hadn’t crept in to take over every last open space inside of her and turn light to dark. Maybe, she thought yet again, she was right to have come here to a farm miles from anyone she knew, from anything she’d ever experienced.
If it hurt her female pride a little bit that Grayson was as far from falling for her as any man had ever been, well, she didn’t care. She didn’t want a man in her life, anyway. Her whole life felt like it had been one seduction after another. Not only as a dancer and choreographer trying to get jobs, but also as a woman trying to get men to notice her.
Her mother had raised her to be more than that, but growing up in a family of such dynamic, smart siblings, Lori had needed to carve out her own niche early on.
Naughty was what her brother Chase had christened her so many years ago, and she’d worked to fit that description every day since. Her hair, her makeup, her clothes had always been wild and sexy. She wasn’t someone who ever left the house looking anything but fantastic, even to get milk or the paper. When people looked at her, she’d made sure it was worth their while. And they’d always looked.
Out here on Grayson’s farm was the first time in her adult life that she’d ever forgone a blow dryer or let her skin be bared to the sun without at least mascara and blush and lipstick. She was living in jeans and T-shirts. The only part of her old life she still kept with her was the lace and silk she wore beneath her clothes.
The problem was that putting both dance and seduction aside left her feeling as though she was trying to hold onto the air as it flitted through her hands. Dancing and love had always gone together for Lori, from her first crush as a little girl on the teenager in her ballet class who could lift her so high, so effortlessly. All her adult life she’d fallen for other dancers and choreographers as she’d twirled and swayed in their arms on worn wooden studio floors and stages.
Only, when her mistakes with Victor had made her stop believing in love, she’d also lost her love for dancing. And she had no idea how to recapture either of those loves.
But she’d never been helpless before, and she refused to feel helpless now as she stood up to stretch her back and look out over the hills that rolled all the way to the ocean. She was struck with wonder yet again at the beauty of the land, the quiet, the ever-changing colors of the landscape—even the clouds, which were dark now and covered the whole expanse of previously blue sky.
Suddenly, a crack of lightning split the sky and Lori turned her face up to the darkening clouds just as they opened. It shouldn’t make any sense that she should find such joy in the freezing pellets of rain that pummeled her—anyone with a lick of sense would be rushing to take cover from the harsh elements—but she couldn’t have held back her laughter for the world.
Lori opened her arms and leaned back to take it all in, to let the force of the storm barrel into her, her sudden laughter joining in with the thunder and lightning.
The rain was shockingly cold on her bare skin as it quickly soaked through her T-shirt and jeans, but she swore she could feel it washing her clean, pouring over her arms where Victor had once touched her, drenching lips that Victor had once kissed. She’d thought she’d been so free, so wild her whole life, but every time she went back to Victor after he’d hurt her, walls had started to grow around her heart, building up an inch at a time until they’d held her trapped inside.
Now, with each boom of thunder, with each bolt of lightning, those walls began to crumble.
Only Grayson’s curse could have been louder than either her laughter or the storm. Lori was still smiling when she looked over at him, still lost in the wildness that surrounded them both. Besides, she was getting used to seeing that scowl on his face whenever he looked at her. She was even starting to think it was a little bit cute, truth be told, as though he were just a little boy who wasn’t getting exactly what he wanted right when he wanted it.
Belatedly, she realized he already had his tools, and hers, put away in the saddlebags, and seconds later was swinging onto the horse’s back. From up on the horse, he reached down for her.
Suddenly, she could see him as he would have been hundreds of years ago, a warrior up on his horse, big and strong. A man a woman could count on to protect her, no matter what.
But her romantic visions were yanked away a second later when he reached down and scooped her up into his arms so quickly that she didn’t even have a chance to fight him. He grabbed her, brought her chest to his, and with nothing but one arm, he settled her on his lap, her legs over his...and then he was riding away with her.
It shouldn’t be sexy or romantic, damn it, and she also shouldn’t be getting turned on by having to hold on to his big muscles, or by the way the seam of her jeans rubbed up against his in just the right way, right where she’d been overheated since the first time she’d laid eyes on his too-beautiful face and his too-perfect body.
No, instead of being turned on by his barbaric behavior, she needed to be rightfully outraged by the way he’d yanked her up onto the horse with him again. Only, just as she was about to open her mouth to give him a piece of her mind over the sound of the rain crashing down on them, another crack of lightning flashed—close enough that they could actually see the bolt slam into a tree less than a quarter of a mile away. Thunder rolled in immediately afterward.