Ella Webber was going to be the f**king death of him. He had been limiting his time with her since she asked him over to her place for dinner a few months back. He didn’t want or need the hassle of a school girl crush. Hell, it was too late to avoid that and it was his own fault. He was in too deep with her. He knew better than to keep seeking her out. She was sweet, innocent, and so very trusting. He had first met her briefly when she dropped some papers she was carrying right at the door of his office. When they met again at a barbeque at Gray’s house, he had been drawn to her. That day she had sat beside him clearly uncomfortable and nervous. If he had said boo, she would have jumped through the sky. Her slender body shown to perfection in the sundress that revealed her shoulders and bare arms and she had twirled her long, golden brown hair around her finger when someone spoke to her. Most of the women he knew would do something like that to get attention; he thought for her it was probably a nervous habit. Her sweet floral scent had intoxicated him and he found his eyes returning to her again and again.
What would sweet Ella say though, if she knew all of the demons that he battled? After two tours of active duty in the military, most of them based in Afghanistan, he had seen and done things that he would never be free of. Even with that, he had planned to make a career of life in the service until the awful day that he lost his friend Craig and almost lost his own life trying to save him. The shrinks he saw afterward diagnosed him with post-traumatic stress syndrome, but what they hell did a bunch of pencil pushers who had never seen a day of active duty know? What they didn’t say was that it looked bad for the military if you went postal and took out either yourself or some innocent civilians.
Neither had been an option for Declan, but he didn’t re-up when his tour ended. Instead, he came home and used his inheritance from his grandfather to start his own consulting firm. His brother, Brant, and his sister, Ava, had tried to get him to join the family business, but that would have required more bonding than he was willing to do. So he kept his distance and made his home base in California until Danvers International came calling.
Now that Ella was in the picture, he had to question the decision he had made to come aboard Danvers. He liked the job and he thought a lot of Jason Danvers and his old college buddy, Gray Merimon. But Ella complicated things and he tried damn hard not to do complicated. Ever. And yet he couldn’t lay it all at her door because he had started things between them. He had been powerless not to. Someone with a soul as dark as his couldn’t resist the draw of the light.
Men like him didn’t get to have women like her and it had become a battle to remember that. Especially when her face lit up when he found a reason to seek her out at the office. She worried about him if he didn’t come around for a few days and she seemed to see something worthy inside him that had long been buried. Even someone as damaged as he was could look into her eyes and still believe that redemption just might be possible.
Declan settled down on the sofa and laid his head back. Then the situation with Ella had gotten worse. He had finally caved and sought her out before leaving work that afternoon. His heart had kicked in his chest when he saw her sitting at the receptionist desk in another pretty dress. Some type of comb held back her silky hair and her luscious pink lips gently curved into a smile while she looked at the man standing in front of her. As he got closer, he saw her pick up her purse and stand, walking around the desk and toward the man.
His ears roared as the man handed her a small bouquet of flowers that he had obviously brought for her and she gave him a smile of pleasure. After a few words, which Declan wasn’t close enough to hear, the man motioned Ella ahead of him and put his hand on the small of her back to guide her toward the elevator. Declan stood there staring at the closed doors wondering why he felt so betrayed.
When someone cleared her throat behind him, his back had stiffened as he turned around to see who it was. Suzy, Gray’s wife, stood there with one raised eyebrow. “You look like someone stole your favorite toy, Dec.”
He always felt like Suzy saw far too much when she looked at him and, judging by her comment, he was right. “I’m a big boy, Suzy. I don’t do toys.”
A smile curved her lips as she said, “That’s a shame. If someone took my toys, I’d be busting my ass to get them back. I certainly wouldn’t let them go without a fight. Some toys can’t be replaced.” With that parting shot, Suzy turned on what he considered an impossibly high pair of heels and sauntered down the hallway.
He had stalked away and had broken every speed limit in town getting home. Now, as he sat on the couch, he wondered what the hell he was in such a hurry to get home to. As usual, it was too quiet and the walls were threatening to close in on him. When would he ever be able to relax without the memories crashing in? He had only found a handful of things that gave him temporary peace: sex, exercise, and work.
After seeing Ella go off with that smiling idiot, he wasn’t in the mood for sex or work. That left the gym or jogging. Thanks to a serious lack of judgment and a night of subpar sex with a gym rat named Tiffany, even that sanctuary had taken a nosedive. He should have remembered the rule of never shitting where you sleep. So, until he found another gym, it looked like a run was his only option. Three shots of Jack Daniel’s might have made this difficult for some people, but it barely took the edge off for him. One of the first things he had learned in the military was how to focus under any condition and he could drink the whole damn bottle and still be able to pass any test put before him.
Declan quickly changed out of his dress clothes and into a low riding pair of jogging shorts and a tank top. Black tattoos in swirling script adorned his bare biceps: one read “Semper Fi” and the other, “Brotherhood.” Both were common tattoos among his unit and he had been proud to wear the ink. Even after leaving the military, the code that the tattoos represented was still a big part of his life. The men he had served with were brothers and he would do anything for them.
As he pulled the door closed behind him, he already knew the direction that his feet were going to take him. Ella lived just a few miles away and he figured he could kill time if he had to, just to make sure she made it home okay. He knew what men were capable of and he would make sure that none of that touched Ella. He might not be able to have her, but he could make sure no one else hurt her.
Chapter Three
Ella felt like her smile was frozen in place. She didn’t consider herself the most interesting person in the world, but surely she had more going for her than her date this evening. Hugh Mitchell was her first date from the dating service that Beth had recommended. He was a well-mannered tax accountant and unfortunately, he had made her eyes glaze over within thirty minutes. She now knew more about tax shelters and audits than she ever wanted to learn. At this point, if someone even mentioned her taxes again, she would probably choke them. She had barely gotten a word in for ages. Every time she tried to change the subject, within a few sentences, it came right back to his job.