Suzy looked reluctantly impressed. “You wrapped your legs around his waist and he still didn’t lose control? Man, that pushes Gray over the edge in no time flat.” Claire and Beth were both nodding their heads in agreement. “Okay, so there is no way that you could put that move on a man and not have him realize that you are willing so it must be something else. What are you wearing on these dates?”
“Well . . . just the usual. Some kind of dress or pantsuit.”
“Not the kind of dress you’re wearing today, right?”
Ella looked down at her sundress and said, “Yeah, just like the ones I usually wear.”
“Ah-ha,” Suzy shouted. “Ladies, we have a winner!”
Emma looked around the group of women in surprise. “Are all of your lunches like this?”
Claire patted her on the shoulder laughing, “No, they’re usually worse, especially if you’re the one with the problem.”
Beth nodded her head. “Yep, I was in the hot seat not long ago. I’m glad that everyone lets the pregnant woman off easy now. When I was going through my crying phase, I think I traumatized my sister for life. I can barely get a good insult out of her now.”
Emma smiled as Beth rubbed her stomach affectionately. “How far along are you?”
“Six months, give or take a few days.”
“Well, you look beautiful,” Emma said and then pointed over to Ella, “And I don’t think you have to worry about Suzy turning her attention back to you either because she found a good outlet for that while you are out of commission.”
Claire laughed saying, “You’re probably next, Em, she loves to solve man problems and, I’ll give her credit, she is pretty good at it.”
Ella was still looking down at her dress in puzzlement. “What is wrong with my clothes?”
Waving her hand in the air, Suzy said, “They are fine for the office, but for a date you need something that doesn’t scream jailbait. You’ve got some pretty good tits there so you need to start showing them a little more. Let those girls get out and roam around.”
Horrified, Ella dropped her head onto the table so no one could see how red her face was. She felt an arm around her shoulders and looked sideways to see Beth trying to hide her laughter as she comforted her. Stiffening her spine, Ella sat back to face the rest of the group. If letting the girls roam was what it took to get Declan off her doorstep and into her apartment for more than five minutes, then maybe it was time to go for it. She could barely believe the words that left her mouth next. “Suzy, will you help me pick something out for my date tonight?” The others at the table looked surprised, but Suzy looked like a mafia don nodding her head in approval. Ella wouldn’t have been surprised to hear her say, “Yo, forgetaboutit.” Of course, maybe she watched too much television and mafia people didn’t actually talk that way.
“I’d be happy to, Ella, but no complaining. I’ll even pick a dress, but one with a little less . . . coverage. When I finish with you, Declan will swallow his tongue and cough it back up.”
“Ugh,” Claire laughed, “I don’t know if that is exactly what she’s after. But I will say that when I put my . . . uh, girls on display, Jason can barely mumble a coherent sentence. I don’t know what it is about men, but Suzy is right, they can’t pass up a good set of girls.”
Rolling her eyes, Beth said, “Mine are like, officially fifty pounds each and Nick loves them. Instead of rubbing my belly, he wants to rub my boobs all the time.”
Suzy started gagging and shouted, “Stop! I’ve told you that I don’t want to hear any brother-in-law sex stories.”
Looking at Emma, Claire said to change the topic, “Hey, I forgot to ask, how are things going with Brant? Is he a little easier to work with now?”
Emma raised her fork from the table and pretended to stab herself in the heart. “Well, I made him sick this morning so I don’t know if this is going to be a good day or not.”
Interest peaked, Suzy said, “Oh, do tell.”
Sighing, Emma said, “He is lactose intolerant and when I made his coffee this morning, I forgot and added cream to it. Come on, wouldn’t you think he would have noticed the difference? But, nooo. An hour later he comes rushing to my desk holding his stomach. I ask him what the problem is and he demands to know if I had given him anything with dairy in it. I had to confess that I had put cream in his coffee. He shot me a dirty look and rushed out the door. I’m pretty sure that he believes I tried to kill him. Why is keeping up with his dietary requirements part of my job? Shouldn’t he be a little more careful? He didn’t seem to appreciate it when I yelled after him, ‘They make medication for that.’”
“Alright, I’ll just be the first to say what we’re all thinking. That is freaking hysterical. Your boss is probably still riding the porcelain throne and calling you every name in the book—nice!” Suzy grinned at the new girl.
Claire coughed trying to hide her laughter, Beth’s stomach moved at an alarming rate as it shook, and Ella tried unsuccessfully to cover her grin. “Just so you’re prepared though, the whole employee of the month thing is probably out for you.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Emma laughed.
Once they had all finished eating, Suzy stood and grabbed Ella’s hand, “Come on, girl, let’s go get you one hell of a ‘do me’ outfit. Do we need to get underwear too? No one wants to open a shiny new package and find an old toy inside.”
“I have some new stuff—”
Shaking her head, Suzy said, “Let’s just get it all. How high of a heel can you walk in? On second thought, you don’t need to walk much, just make short trips and do a lot of standing.” Then with that scary thought in Ella’s head, they were off through the mall like a blur.
An hour and several credit card swipes later, Ella had a dress that covered next to nothing and underwear that could have been classified as dental floss. Those two things were scary enough, but the shoes that Suzy had picked were the equivalent of strapping a skyscraper on each foot. When Suzy said for her to stand around a lot, she’d meant it.
At the end of the day, Beth helped her pack her purchases in the trunk of her car. “So, are you going to have the nerve to wear that tonight?”
“Well, I either go on my date with Declan tonight practically naked or I admit to your sister that I chickened out and didn’t wear the clothes that she picked out. Hmmm, I’ll pick the naked thing every time. It’s less scary than admitting failure to Suzy.”