Visit. Of course. Once a year?
‘Of course,’ she said flatly. ‘To keep up the pretence of our marriage.’ And then because she couldn’t help herself she added…‘How often?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said honestly. They were in their apartment now. He led her over to the bed and they sat side by side. He set Deefer onto the floor but the little dog was subdued. He knew things were grim. He huddled in against Holly’s legs and stayed.
‘I can’t do as I want, Holly,’ he said. ‘I was born into this job.’
‘And your country needs you.’
‘It does,’ he said simply. ‘Whether it knows it or not.’
‘I…That’s okay,’ she said and swallowed. ‘I didn’t really expect you to come back with me.’
‘I’ll come as often as I can.’
‘You know, maybe it’d be better if you didn’t,’ she said miserably. ‘You were gone for years and I couldn’t forget you. If you keep popping back every six months or so…’
‘I’ll come more often than that.’ He turned her face to his and kissed her on the nose. ‘You are my wife.’
‘In name.’
‘In law,’ he said strongly. ‘I want you, Holly. I want you here, in my bed, but I accept that’s not possible. My father clipped the wings of his wild creatures. I will not.’
‘Andreas-’
‘Hush,’ he said and gathered her to him. ‘Just hush, my love. Yes, I have to leave again tomorrow, and I’ll arrange for you to leave as well. I’ll organize a boat to take you to Greece. I have friends there who’ll see you cared for; who’ll organize your forward journey to Australia. The press will be told there are urgent matters you need to attend to in Australia. There’s no need to fear Sebastian will haul you back. The scandal would be worse than if we’d never married.’
He had it all planned, she thought numbly. She should protest. But all she could do was listen.
‘Money’s already been transferred to your working account,’ he was saying. ‘You’ll find the mortgages on Munwannay have been cleared. There’s a lump sum for restocking and money for staffing. You’re to get good staff, mind, Holly. You’re to have skilled help or I’ll know the reason why. By the time I visit, I expect to see the Munwannay I first saw-a vibrant, working farm. A family home.’
‘I-’
‘You can do this, Holly,’ he said strongly, not letting her interject. ‘It’s what you’ve always wanted. And there will be no long-term problem here. Our people understand royal marriages. They think it’s wonderful to have an Australian princess, but they know my royal duties have to take precedence. It will be accepted.’
‘But Sebastian-’
‘This has nothing to do with Sebastian now.’
‘Or your mother?’
‘No. But I owe them a duty of care-that’s why I need to keep looking for the diamond.’
‘And you owe me…’
‘What I owe you I’ve paid in full.’
‘Have you, Andreas?’ She swallowed hard, trying not to cry. ‘Have you? Oh, you’ve married me in all honour. You’ve given me the Cinderella story. Now you’ve paid for my happy ever after. I should be grateful. But…’ She swallowed, fighting for words. ‘I want more,’ she managed, but she looked into his eyes and knew he didn’t understand.
‘Holly, this was a business arrangement,’ he said softly. ‘A marriage of necessity. I’m sorry it can’t be more.’
‘Well, so am I,’ she snapped, suddenly furious. ‘Business arrangement? No way. Not on my part. I made my vows and I meant them.’
‘Yet you don’t wish to stay.’
She stared at him, baffled. He didn’t get it. Was it only she who was hungry for what was just in front of them, so close but yet so far? She ached for him to hold her in his arms, to tell her she was indeed his wife, that he’d never let her go. Instead he talked of his duty of care to his family.
‘I think you should go now,’ she whispered.
‘Go…’
‘Back to wherever you’ve been diamond hunting. Or wherever.’
‘I don’t leave until the morning. I’d hoped-’
‘Well hope away, Your Highness,’ she snapped. ‘I’ve just had a very nasty shock. I’ve been shot at and I’m wounded. I have a headache and if you think I’m going to bed with you when I have a headache…’
‘The Holly I knew would never let a headache stop her.’
‘Yeah, well, the Holly you knew was a dope,’ she whispered. ‘The Holly you knew has gone far enough in this royal charade and can go no further. Enough, Andreas. Leave please.’
‘Holly…’ He caught her hands and drew her round, forcing her to face him. ‘I can’t believe you mean that.’ He smiled, that fabulous, gentle, seductive smile that made her toes curl, that was the source of all the trouble in the first place. ‘You don’t want me?’
‘I can’t want you,’ she said miserably. ‘Can’t you see that? Please, Andreas, no more. To be kind…just leave.’
What had she done? He stared at her for a long, tension-filled moment, his face expressionless. Then, without another word, he stood up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. She was left staring after him in dismay.
She’d sent him away.
He was leaving anyway in the morning.
But she wanted this night.
It wasn’t going to make anything better, she thought drearily. She’d thought she could take as much of Andreas as he offered, but all his nearness did was make her ache for more.
He’d gone. She didn’t have to see him again. She could stay in her room for the rest of the day, plead headache, sleep, then when she woke he’d have left.
A stronger woman would fight for him.
Was it strong to stay in this place? Submit to endless protocol, endless absences, the clipping of her wings?
‘I’d be a bird in a gilded cage,’ she whispered to Deefer, hugging him close. ‘I can’t. Even for Andreas.’
Yet to leave him…
I’m not leaving him. He’s doing the leaving.