Then he strode toward his own office, throwing Cheryl a satisfied smile on the way. For the life of her, Gabrielle couldn’t manage a smile for her PA. Instead she shut the door and sank back against it, her legs barely holding her up. A tear rolled down her cheek as raw grief threatened to overwhelm her.
Oh God, how could she keep the secret of her miscarriage from the man she loved? Even if she threw caution to the wind and told Damien about their child… and she’d sworn never to do that…she still couldn’t stay now. Once he discovered her deception, he would never forgive her.
Yet how could she not tell him something so important? What if years from now he found out about the baby and how the accident had caused her to lose their child? Their marriage would have been based on even more deception all that time.
A deceptive lie.
As it was now.
But there wasn’t only Damien to think about. For her father’s sake, she couldn’t tell Damien the truth and risk him destroying everything her father had worked so hard to achieve. And he would destroy Russell Kane if he knew her father had told her to leave all those years ago, despite her father not knowing she was pregnant. She had no doubt about that.
Neither could she risk Keiran getting to her father and doing his worst. And she couldn’t tell her father herself. Keiran was right. The shock of her accident, let alone her losing her unborn baby, could bring on another stroke. And this time he may not recover.
Of course, when she left in a week’s time it could very well bring on another stroke then, too. But what was worse? Telling her parents she wanted to go back to Sydney, letting them think she was unhappy here in Darwin but allowing herself to keep in touch with them? Or telling them about the loss of their unborn grand-child…and the anguish she had gone through alone five years ago…both sure to cause them grief.
No, somehow she had to find the strength to walk away from her parents a second time.
And from Damien.
From love entirely.
Nine
G abrielle wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or not when Damien left a message to say he’d be tied up for the rest of the day. At least she wouldn’t have to put on an act for him, though how she was going to hide a breaking heart she wasn’t sure. But somehow she would do it. She had to. This last week with him would be so very special. The memory of it had to last her for the rest of her life.
Just as she walked in the apartment after work, her mother phoned to say they’d sent her father home from hospital earlier in the afternoon. Wanting to share the good news, and wondering when Damien would be home for dinner, Gabrielle phoned him on his cell phone, expecting to leave a message. And was surprised when he answered.
“Are you going to see him?” he asked, after she’d finished telling him the news.
“I thought I might go over after dinner once he’s had a chance to rest.”
“If you can wait half an hour, I’ll be able to come with you.”
She blinked. “Um…okay.”
An infinitesimal pause came down the line. “Better yet. Let’s grab a pizza, go down to the beach and eat it, then we’ll drop by the house and see Russell.”
Her stomach did a flip-flop.
“Gabrielle?”
“Yes?”
“Is there a problem with that?”
Her problem was in loving him.
And having to leave him.
“No. That would be lovely,” she said huskily.
“Fine. See you soon.”
Gabrielle hung up the phone with a moan of inner pain. Before Keiran’s ultimatum today she would have been secretly thrilled to share a pizza with Damien on a tropical beach. Perhaps she could have even let her guard down enough to enjoy herself. But now her heart was turning over as though it wanted to lie down and die.
Not that she let Damien see her thoughts when he arrived home just as she was walking out of the bedroom after showering and changing into something more casual. He looked so gorgeous that her heart started to pitter-patter like the sound of a rain shower.
Putting his briefcase down beside the sofa, he discarded his jacket before turning to look at her, his gaze sliding over her cream linen shorts and white tank top. “You look really nice.”
The breath stalled in her throat at that look. “Thank you.”
He started walking toward her, his eyes never leaving her face as he loosened his tie. “I’m hungry.”
All at once she felt strangely excited. “Then we’d better—”
He gently captured her by the arm, his gaze burning a fire for her. “For you, Gabrielle.”
Anticipation sent a feeling of exhilaration through her. “Oh.”
His other hand slipped around her neck and pulled her closer. “I’m been thinking about doing this all day,” he drawled huskily, looking down at her open lips as if he wanted to kiss them right off her.
She moistened them anyway. “Really?”
He hovered just above her mouth. “Why are you surprised?”
His warm breath wafted over her. “Er, we only made love this morning.”
A muscle ticked in his cheek. “I could have you ten times a day and still want more.”
She suddenly felt boneless.
“Go on, Gabrielle. Say it.”
Her heart pounded. “What?”
“That you feel the same.” He ran a fingertip over her lower lip. “Be honest.”
Of all the things that she couldn’t be honest about with this man, this wasn’t one of them. And what would it hurt to tell him the truth this once? This time next week she’d be remembering this moment and wishing she was back here in his arms.
“Yes,” she admitted into the hushed stillness. “I feel the same.”
Satisfaction crossed his face as he placed her hands on his chest, her palms against his shirt, letting her feel his body warmth. “Then make love to me.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “You mean—”
“Take the initiative this time. Take the clothes off me. Then take me inside you,” he said, his voice growing hoarse. “That’s where I need to be right now.”
For the space of a heartbeat they stared at each other. “Damien, I—” She wasn’t even sure what she was going to say. She was just playing for time. She wanted him inside her, too, but was very much afraid that if she touched him like he wanted, she’d give herself away.