But eventually she had to pull herself together and get on with her life. Tomorrow she would go home and pick up the pieces. She could do it. She had to.
But first she had to make her weekly phone call to her mother and pretend she was home and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She was already overdue with the call.
“Darling, where are you?” her mother said the instant Kia spoke. “Are you okay?”
Kia’s fingers tightened around the telephone. “I’m fine, Mum. Why?”
“We’ve been so worried. Brant’s been looking for you and—”
She sank to the bed. “B-Brant?”
“Your boss, darling. Remember?”
Oh, she remembered all right. That’s all he was to her now. One of her bosses. Soon to be ex-boss.
“He said you’d gone away for a few days but he didn’t know where.” Her mother paused. “We were really worried about you, sweetie. You never mentioned going away.”
“It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, Mum,” Kia said, feeling guilty for not calling sooner. Then she thought of Brant and her heart began to thump harder. “Do you know what he wanted?”
“He didn’t say. I assumed it was another problem at work he needs your help with. He seemed quite upset about it, whatever it was.”
Brant upset? He should be ecstatic now he was back with the woman he loved. She frowned. Or perhaps there really was a problem at work? Yes, that would be more likely.
“Anyway, darling, he asked me to call him the minute I heard from you. Where are you staying? If you give me the telephone number, I’ll get him to call you.”
“Mum, I’d prefer not to say,” Kia said quietly. Brant would charm the information out of her mother if she told her. “I’m having a holiday and—”
“Darling, this isn’t like you to just run off. I know you’re a grown woman and all, and some things mothers probably shouldn’t know, but I’ll always be here for you if you want to talk.”
Kia blinked back tears. “Thanks, Mum. I know that. I just needed some time by myself, that’s all.”
A moment’s silence ticked by. Then her mother spoke. “This isn’t about work, is it? It’s about Brant.”
“Yes,” Kia murmured. She took a shaky breath. “But please don’t say anything to him. I’ll call him shortly to see if there really is a problem at work. And I’ll be going home tomorrow anyway. I’ll call you then. I might even come down to Adelaide for a week after that.” Suddenly she needed to go home. It would be for the best. Her mother, more than anyone, would understand her pain.
“Darling, you’re always welcome here. You know that. Please call me tomorrow. I’ll worry otherwise.”
“I promise.”
“And call Brant now. It may be important.”
“I will.” Kia hung up the telephone and stared at the wall. So he was upset, was he? Did he think she’d do something crazy just because he loved another woman? She wasn’t that stupid. She was heartbroken, but life would go on.
Taking a deep breath, she picked up the phone again and dialed the number for his office. He answered on the first ring.
Just hearing his voice constricted her heart. Oh, God. How was she ever going to forget him?
“Kia?” he said when she didn’t immediately announce herself.
“Yes.” She swallowed hard then cleared her throat. “Yes, it’s me.”
“Thank God!” He paused. “Where the hell have you been?”
“On holiday.”
He swore under his breath. “You’ve had everyone worried about you.”
Anger hardened her voice. “They wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t called my mother.”
“I had to see if you were there.”
“Why, Brant? It’s over.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s far from over. Not by a long shot.”
She gasped. “If you think I’m going to carry on an affair with you behind—”
“Look, we can’t talk about this over the telephone. Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you.”
“No,” she said with a catch in her voice. In the flesh, he’d seduce her with more than words.
“Kia, I’m beginning to lose patience.” He took a deep breath. “Please listen. This is important. I need to see you. I want to feel my arms around you and—”
“My God. Isn’t one woman enough for you? Go to Julia, Brant. She’ll be waiting for you.”
“Dammit, there is no—”
“I’ll come to the office tomorrow. Until then, just accept that I’m the one who got away. Goodbye, Brant.”
“Kia, don’t hang up. I’ll—”
She carefully placed the phone in its cradle. Whatever he’d do to her would have to wait until tomorrow.
It still wouldn’t change her mind.
At exactly noon Kia stepped out of the elevator and strode toward Brant’s office. She’d come straight from the motel, dressed in a mauve knit top, white jeans and sandals. She’d never dressed so casually at the office before. Never even contemplated it. It was kind of freeing.
Just like the letter of resignation in her hand.
Of course, telling herself she should be feeling free was different to actually feeling free. That would come with time. Dear God, she hoped so.
For now, she had to face Brant and get it over with. Then she’d put one foot in front of the other and march out that door and out of his life.
She squared her shoulders just before she stepped in the open doorway, but it didn’t stop the impact of seeing him sitting at his desk while he studied some paperwork in front of him. He looked so handsome.
So…Brant.
For one precious moment she didn’t think she had the strength to do this. But she had to. For God’s sake—for her sake—she had to stay strong.
He looked up and their eyes met. And in that split second her heart cried out for him and all that she’d lost. She had come so close to finding happiness, utter fulfillment, only to lose all chance for both. The grief over that loss cut right to the center, the heart of her. She would never be the same, not even close.
“Kia,” he said hoarsely, as if feeling that same pain. But that couldn’t be. He would have to love her to suffer the same sense of desolation she felt. Yet she knew he didn’t. He loved Julia.