“Are you saying you’re incapable of kindness? Of love?”
He turned his gaze on her, one he didn’t doubt reflected the wintry coldness that seized hold. “Those qualities were eradicated long ago. What I can give my niece is a home, financial security and as much attention as I can spare.”
“Got it. That sounds a lot like duty and obligation to me. And yet, not two minutes ago you claimed that wasn’t why you took Isabella in. You might want to consider which is most accurate.” She fixed him with an unwavering stare. “And I suggest you choose one that CPS will buy.”
“You want me to lie?”
“Right now, I’m not sure even you know what’s truth and what’s lie.”
He swore beneath his breath and surged to his feet. He’d had enough of this touchy-feely stuff. Time to take control, and this time he wouldn’t let Annalise wrest it away again. “I think we need to discuss what happened earlier in the playroom.”
His comment struck a nerve. She deliberately turned her head in Isabella’s direction. His niece remained fully engaged with her doll. “I believe I already addressed that issue. It won’t happen again.”
“Time will tell.”
She followed his example and thrust back her chair. He couldn’t begin to imagine the amount of inner fortitude it took for her to stand and face him. But somehow she did it. “I have no excuse for what took place earlier. I will tell you I’m no stereotype, despite that unfortunate incident. You’re paying me to take care of your niece, not be your mistress. Decide now, Mr. Mason. Which do you want? A nanny or a mistress?”
“And if both roads end up in the same place?”
“I’ll quit before I become your mistress. Is that clear enough?”
“Quite.” He leaned his shoulder against one of the beams supporting the wooden canopy that shaded the patio and folded his arms across his chest. “There’s only one small problem.”
“Which is?”
Her poise wasn’t as secure as she’d like to pretend. He’d always been excellent at reading people and Annalise proved no exception. He caught the slightest quaver of her voice and the helpless balling of her hands. Even more telling, the pulse in her throat fluttered like a moth struggling to throw itself into the flames. And like that moth, she was irresistibly drawn to something guaranteed to deliver her into the arms of certain disaster.
His arms.
“I have a strict policy forbidding interoffice fraternization.”
“I don’t work in your office.” The instant the words escaped, she inhaled sharply, aware of how much she’d given away with that single thoughtless comment. “I mean—”
He cut her off without compunction. “That policy extends to all my employees. I’ve never treated anyone who works for me with anything other than complete and utter professionalism.” He paused deliberately. “Until today. Until you. Why is that, do you suppose?”
Her eyes darkened and she shook her head in open denial. “I have no idea.”
“Yes, you do.” He hadn’t budged an inch, and yet for the first time since they’d met, she took a step backward. “Something unexpected happened between us. Something that caused me to ignore one of my cardinal rules. Do you have any idea how unusual that is?”
“If CPS suspected we were involved, it would cause untold problems,” she was quick to say. “You can’t afford to risk that, not if you’re sincere about keeping custody of your niece.”
“I’m dead serious.”
“Then her needs must come first.”
“I agree. But that doesn’t change what happened today.” He straightened and took a step in her direction. “Nor does it change what’s occurring between us right now. If our reaction to one another is this bad after one day, what will it be like after a week … a month … a year?”
“Stop it, Jack.” He could see she wanted to continue her retreat, wanted it with an intensity that flowed off her in hot, desperate waves. A painful vulnerability settled over her, one that affected him more profoundly than he thought possible. She held up her hand to halt his forward progress. “Are you trying to convince me to quit? If that’s your goal, you’re succeeding.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want you to quit. But I’m not going to pretend that the attraction between us doesn’t exist. In order to make our relationship work, we have to deal with what we’re experiencing and decide how to handle it.”
“Fine. That’s easy enough.” She sucked in a quick breath while scrambling to take charge of the situation. Not that he’d let her. “We ignore it. We are careful to never be alone together. And we absolutely, positively keep our hands off each other.”
“My hands were only a small portion of the problem.”
Her gaze flashed to his mouth. “Hands. Arms. Lips. And every other part of your body.”
He continued toward her, booting her chair out of his path. It skittered across the flagstones with a squeak of surrender. “That’s one option, I suppose.”
“Oh, God,” she whispered. “Please, Jack. It’s the only option. If we can’t control ourselves, I’ll quit. I won’t have any other choice. I can’t lose control. I can’t. Not ever again.” She ground into silence as he halted a mere foot away.
Curiosity consumed him. “What happens when you lose control?” he asked softly.
To his concern, her chin quivered. “Nothing good.”
“A lesson hard learned?”
“Exactly.”
“Then I won’t touch you first.”
Jack hated making the promise. He was a ruthless man. A man who let nothing stand between himself and his goals. A man who’d learned the hard way to give no quarter. But a single anguished look from a pair of tumultuous golden eyes had him relenting. Softening. Clearly, he’d lost his mind.
Annalise’s relief was palpable. “Thank you, Mr. Mason,” she said formally.
He turned from her, furious with himself for not taking advantage of what he’d been able to accomplish so far. Time was still of the essence. He needed to move her from the role of nanny to the role of wife as soon as possible. Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her in the process.