“I do.”
“I’m assuming you have someone in mind to father those children.”
The air seemed to suddenly suspend itself.
“Of course.”
Matt saw red. “The poor bastard.”
Her forehead creased. “Matt, do you think—” She broke off. “It’s you I wanted to father my children.”
The blood rushed to his head. “Me?”
She met his eyes without flinching. “I wanted to have more children with you, only, you turned all cold on me and I knew I was grasping at straws to think you’d feel the same.”
Matt was trying to take it all in. “You said ‘wanted.’ Is that feeling in the past?”
She swallowed hard. “No.”
Hope began to rise inside his chest. “Then—”
“No, Matt. It can’t be.”
“Why not?”
She shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. “Because.”
He took some steps toward her and put his hand under her chin, turning her to look at him. He wasn’t going to let up. “Because?”
She lowered her eyelids, then slowly lifted them open, her feelings clear to see. “Because I love you, Matt.”
A wave rolled inside Matt’s chest. “You love me?” he rasped.
“Yes,” she whispered. Then she stepped back, breaking away from his touch. “But it’s not enough. I can’t let Megan suffer in the future at our lack of trust for each other. I suffered growing up because my mother was pregnant and because my father did the right thing in marrying her, but I can’t do that to Megan. My parents ended up hating each other. My father was always cheating on my mother.”
He quelled a squeezing pain inside himself. “Your father married your mother because she was pregnant with you?”
She nodded. “Yes. I told you.”
“No, you told me they had an abusive marriage. You didn’t say why.”
“Oh.” Her expression clouded over, clearly with unhappy thoughts. “Well, that’s why. I was always in the middle. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling.”
“That wouldn’t happen with us.”
“It happened tonight. We’ve already argued about Irene and about your affairs and—”
“I haven’t had any affairs. Anyway, who said we would be arguing in years to come?”
“If we don’t trust each other now, we certainly won’t trust each other in the future.”
Everything fell into place and Matt finally understood why she hadn’t told him about Megan, and why she hadn’t wanted to trap him. It wasn’t wholly about him not being ready to be a father, as she’d stated. That had been only an excuse.
No, the problem was that her parents had left her a legacy of trust issues. Her father’s adultery was the main offender, and he could only imagine what other mental scars she had. It came down to the fact that she couldn’t trust anyone not to hurt her or her daughter—including himself.
As he looked into her pain-filled eyes he finally understood something else. It hurt like hell when you loved someone and they were in pain.
As he loved Lana.
He knew that in one blinding moment, but amazingly he somehow held himself in check. He had to tread carefully here or he could lose her.
For good.
“Did your parents love each other, Lana?”
Her expression clouded. “My mother loved my father, but it was never reciprocated.”
Relief launched through his body. This was something concrete he could use. “Our situation is different.”
She shook her head. “I’ve just told you I love you, Matt. It’s not different. It’s the same situation all over again.”
Love swelled inside him. “It isn’t, you know. You see, your father didn’t love your mother…not like I love you.”
“Matt, listen. I—” Her eyes widened. “Wh…what?”
“I love you, Lana.”
Hope flashed in her eyes, then died. “You’re only saying that. It’s not possible.”
“Believe me, it’s very possible. It happened. It’s true.” He slid his arms around her waist and brought her close. “It took the threat of you leaving me to make me realize it.”
She swallowed hard. “But you don’t want to stay married to me, Matt.”
“I don’t?”
Her eyes searched his. “What about your other women? You were going to return to them after a year, remember?”
“Darling, I didn’t have nearly as many affairs before I married you as you think.”
Her forehead creased. “What about those nights you stayed out late when we were first married? I didn’t want to believe you were with anyone else but—”
“I went to stay at my old apartment each night for a few hours. Alone. I admit it gave me some space. I wasn’t used to being married, but there were never any other women involved.”
“Oh God, that’s the truth, isn’t it?”
“Absolutely.” His hands tightened on her waist. “I married you for Megan’s sake, Lana, but I want to stay married to you for our sake.”
Moisture glittered in her eyes. “Oh Matt.”
“Stay with me, Lana. Have more children with me to share our love. Be happy and make me happy, too.”
“I never let myself believe in forever, Matt.” She blinked rapidly. “This time I know I can.”
His heart overflowed with love as he lowered his head toward her. “Yes, darling, this time you can. Trust me.”
“I do.”
Epilogue
F ireworks lit up the night sky over the Valente mansion for Cesare’s sixtieth birthday, and family and friends oohed and aahed over the stunning display.
Isabel Valente looked at her husband of thirty-three years, her heart swelling with love and pride. He’d come to Australia from Italy with his parents when he was twelve, made his fortune and turned the Valente name into something he was proud to pass on to his sons.
And his sons were equally as proud of their father, she knew, gazing at those three sons of her heart, despite only giving birth to one of them. They were all now happily married to wonderful, caring women and starting to raise families of their own.
Alex and Olivia had adopted Scott and Renee and would adopt more children as time moved on.