“You never thought others might’ve had the same issues you did?” Nostalgia shaded his face. “I won’t deny I had a soft spot for Emma toward the end. She was nothing like her daughter—not insubordinate or stubborn, but she enticed me all the same.”
My heartbeat kicked just the tiniest bit.
Without disrupting the conversation, I pulled the small bottle free and tipped a tablet into my palm. “I had no idea.” Chasing the pill with a healthy dose of cognac, I added, “I suppose it’s logical for any man and woman to have feelings if they’re forced together long enough.”
Cut stared into his drink. “I suppose.”
He always did this. Always hinted at a topic in a roundabout way, waiting to see if I would trip up and reveal things. It might’ve worked in the past when I had things to hide and nervousness to feel, but now I had nothing.
Blank. Blank. Blank.
My voice was soft. “You did what you were tasked with. Just like I hurt Nila, you hurt Emma.”
His eyes connected with mine. “Exactly. You made her bleed in the First Debt. And I have no doubt you’re capable of carrying this inheritance to its conclusion.”
A few weeks ago, there was no chance in hell I would’ve been able to complete the Final Debt. But things were different now.
My loyalties were to the Hawks. I would do my duty. I would inherit what was mine.
“Of course.”
I would commit murder.
It was what I was born for.
Cut shook his head, almost in awe. “I wish that drug had been around years ago. I’m so happy to have you on my side after all this time. Not to mention, Bonnie is delighted that you no longer harass Jasmine from her studies.”
I smiled, taking another drink. “Yes, we both know it was time for me to grow up.”
Finch suddenly flew overhead; his russet feathers a rainbow of orange, brown, and taupe.
Cut sighed, running a hand through his white hair. “There is one thing I need to bring up, before we can put the past behind us.” His body tightened. “You can probably guess what I’m about to say.”
Could I?
I wracked my brains.
What had he hated about me the most? My inability to obey? My endless problems? Or was it the fact I’d slept with Nila with nothing barred and somehow lost a piece of myself that I would never get back—no matter how numb I was?
“You’ll have to enlighten me. I have no idea what you mean.”
“I must admit, you were beyond stupid. If those pills hadn’t worked, I would’ve put you down for that infraction alone.”
My eyebrow raised. “Oh? This will be interesting. Don’t torture me with suspense—what did I do?”
He grinned. “I’d hoped you would be able to tell me why. Explain in your words what the fuck was going on in your screwed-up mind. But I guess that won’t happen now that your insanity is cured.”
Insanity.
That annoying little word. Out of everything, it still had a smidgen of power over me. I hated that label. All my life, I’d been called insane, broken. My father had sent me away as a young boy to undergo counselling and get psychiatric help. The conclusion came back stating I was demented, mentally unsound.
Every day of my childhood, Cut reminded me of my flaws. I’d come to hate those words. Despise those words.
Cut laughed again, dragging me back to the present. “Can I ask if you did it because you truly didn’t think, or were you more clever than I gave you credit?”
A slight headache began. “I honestly have no idea what you’re getting at.”
What the fuck?
Until I had a guess, I wouldn’t say a word. I’d learned how to hide, and those habits were hard to break.
Cut laughed—a full belly chuckle dancing with pride.
My heart swelled. I’d never get tired of having him be proud of me.
“Your balls are iron, Jet. I’ll give you that. I always hoped having your own pet Weaver would fix you.” Leaning forward, he clasped my knee. “I like this man before me. I’m honoured to call him my son.”
Shit...wow.
Clearing my throat, I raised my glass to him. “Appreciate that, Father. More than you know.”
Reclining back in his chair, Cut said quietly, “Let me give you a quick history. You’ve seen the tapes of what I did to Emma, so you know what is required of you. In turn, you know what isn’t required of you.” He tilted his head. “The men of our family are weak when it comes to their Weavers. They fucked them—same as you. They fell prey to their charms—same as you.” His voice darkened. “However, unlike you, your forefathers saw what the Weavers were doing by enticing them into their beds. Nila is just like her ancestors. She was using sex to get to you—using her body to screw up your mind, and it fucking worked.”
My glass was empty. I wanted another.
Cut grew angry—the same mask I recognised slipping into place. “I have no issues with you fucking her. But what does make me rage is you did it without protection.”
I froze.
Conveniently, my mind had buried that titbit beneath all the other crap I’d been dealing with. No protection equals…
“Every time you sank inside that little whore, her face screamed victory. For her it wasn’t lust or love for you, Jethro, it was happiness at being the winner. She used you and it worked.”
Memories of her claiming to win made their way through my druggy fog.