“No! I’m getting married in less than an hour. Don’t bring this up again. I’m marrying Greg.” She had to.
Belle sighed. “Has Mike called lately?”
She should never have told Belle about him. “He’s just a work peer. Sort of.”
“You talked to him for three hours one night, and I doubt it was all about tax exempt status and donation channels. I think you like him.”
She did. “But that’s no reason to call off the wedding, Belle. Come on…”
Her rapport with Mike had started out all business with a few calls. She’d talked about how her mom had set up Hope House and what it had meant to her to help her mother with a cause so meaningful. Before long, Mike told her about his military service and his desire to start a charity with his brothers for wounded soldiers and their families. After a couple of talks that strayed more into the personal, she’d begun looking forward to hearing his voice over the line.
One night she’d spent three hours on the phone with him, rapt and fascinated. He’d admitted that he wasn’t married or even dating now because what he really wanted was a woman to share with his brothers.
Kinley had been shocked. And utterly intrigued.
And she couldn’t even think about this again. She had to marry Greg. Her father’s chemo bills were stacking up, and he didn’t need the added stress of wondering where the money was going to come from. He was so embarrassed by his weakness and distressed about it all that he wouldn’t even allow her to go with him to his therapy sessions. And with her charity about to go belly up, Kinley needed the money, too. She couldn’t allow years of her mother’s good work to end.
So she had to sacrifice and do what thousands of women had done before her. She had to keep her chin up and make the best of things. “I love Greg.”
She couldn’t tell Belle that she was basically prostituting herself. Besides, if she said it enough, maybe she could make it true. Kinley was a great believer in affirmations. If that didn’t work…maybe Becks was right, and no one was really happy in marriage. Maybe all a woman could do was put on a smile the same way she affixed her makeup.
“Sure you do.” Belle rolled her eyes, then looked around the room. “Where’s Gigi?”
Her little Yorkie baby had shown her deep disdain for the proceedings by crawling into Kinley’s Louis Vuitton bag and settling down for a nap. Gigi had taken an almost instant dislike to Greg and everyone on his side of the wedding party. At first, Kinley had thought it would be fun to include her little dog in the ceremony, but Gigi had refused to go anywhere near her fiancé. “She’s asleep. She had a rough night.”
“Yes, she did. She growled at Greg all through the rehearsal dinner. Your dog is very smart.”
Kinley wanted to cry. She was utterly and completely alone, and arguing with her best friend in the world sent her into a tailspin. “I wish you could accept that Greg is going to be a part of my life.”
Belle leaned in. “Are you doing this because you need a man? I can get you one. If you’re not interested in California Mike, I can find you the hottest man who will rock your world. Then you will forget you ever heard the name Greg Jansen. As a matter of fact, I could find you two or three amazing guys. I could get them here really fast, too.”
She wondered what Mike and his brothers looked like and wished she could see them just once and indulge in a moment of fantasy before she had to face reality again.
Kinley turned back to the mirror because she couldn’t stand to look at Belle when she was lying through her teeth. “I only want Greg.”
Two or three hot guys might light up her world for a night, but all her responsibilities would still be waiting the next day. She just had to accept that sexual desire wasn’t in the cards for her.
“Kinley, I don’t understand. When we were kids and we were planning out our weddings, I ask you to describe your groom. Do you remember that?”
“I remember that you wanted to marry Leonardo DiCaprio.” They had watched Titanic about a hundred times that year and she’d cried every single time. What would have happened to Rose and Jack if he’d lived? Would she have regretted leaving the money behind? Would Rose have been able to live with the ruin it would have brought her family?
Or would she have been happy to have lived with her soul mate?
There were tears in Belle’s eyes as she forced Kinley to turn. “Yes, I was very picky back then. But you weren’t. You only had one requirement. Do you remember?”
“I said it didn’t matter how he looked or how much money he had as long as he was a good man.” Which just showed how young she was. Naïve. God, she wanted to be that little girl again.
“Greg Jansen is not a good man, Kinley.” She whispered the words as though they had some kind of power, as though she prayed they would make their way into Kinley’s heart.
She couldn’t let them in.
Kinley broke away and turned back to the mirror, forcing down the need to cry. She didn’t want to lose Belle, but it looked like she might. “The feds cleared Greg of all charges. And I don’t care about how good he is. He’s going to be my husband. Have you seen all the gifts he’s already given me?”
A long sigh came from Belle and her oldest friend hugged her from behind. “I’m not stupid.” She put her head on Kinley’s shoulder. “I wish I was more than a secretary so I could bail you out of this mess.”