“Oh, since we’re kinda slow tonight, I asked her to go work in the storage closet. We’re behind on inventory and cataloguing.”
“I see.”
Kristi eyed him up and down before shaking her head. “You’re drenched.”
“It’s raining outside.”
“So I’ve heard,” she said knowingly.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
She waved her hand. “Nothing. Why don’t you do us both a favor and go get out of those wet clothes? The last thing we need is you coming down with something.”
Pesh knew it was fruitless to argue with her. Instead, he tucked his tail between his legs and made his way to the doctors’ lounge. He took a clean pair of pants and shirt out of his locker. After he slid on a new white coat, he strode down the hall to the medicine closet. After swiping his key card, he entered the room. When he closed the door behind him, Megan turned around, gazing expectantly at him. Now that he was in front of her, he didn’t know exactly what to say. He had been on an emotional overload on the roof, and things had escalated far too quickly. “Look, I just want to say how very sorry I am about kissing you.”
“Well I’m not,” she replied matter-of-factly.
Pesh’s neck snapped back in shock. Her response wasn’t what he was expecting at all. He had imagined she might be relieved or even embarrassed, but he hadn’t imagined that she would be unregretful. He cleared his throat. “Regardless, I shouldn’t have done it. I was in an emotionally vulnerable position, and you were merely trying to comfort me. Nothing more.” His words were more for his own good than hers.
She shook her head. “Just because I was comforting you, doesn’t mean I didn’t want you to kiss me. That I still don’t want to kiss you again.”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “But you—”
“Pesh, I’ve wanted you since the night of Noah’s baptism. But you shot me down then, and you still do.”
Although his heart wanted to soar at her admission of wanting him, the reality of her words caused his chest to clench instead. “Sexually. You only want me sexually.”
“Yes.”
He should have been flattered that a young, sexy woman like Megan desired him. But he wasn’t. Half of the women in the hospital would be willing for him to drag them to an empty patient’s room for a quick and dirty screw. But that’s not who he was. He had never been that way with women, and he didn’t see how it could be possible to change. All he wanted was for her to really see him and how good he could be for her. How good they would be for each other. He thought that was what she was feeling in the moments before and after he kissed her. But now it seemed it was once again only lust.
Although it was probably pointless, he couldn’t help putting everything out there once again. “But when we were up on the roof, there wasn’t a moment where you wanted more from me than just sex?” He licked his lips and took a step toward her. “Just a second where you could imagine your life with me in it?”
Megan stared at him, her expression contemplative. For a brief moment, Pesh thought by her hesitation that she had changed her mind about him. But then she shook her head. “How many times are you going to make me hurt you with this? You’re too good for me, Pesh. We both know that. I’ll remind you again of some of the reasons I’m not the one for you. I’m twenty-five, and you’re thirty-seven. You want a wife, and I’m not ready to be married.”
Her words cut into his chest the same as if she had taken a sharp blade to him. She may have had to repeat herself this time, but he realized the finality of her words. And then an idea hit him so hard that he shuddered—a true light bulb moment and epiphany. There was only one way he was going to get to have his sweet Megan, and that was if he gave in to her. He would have to become someone else for her, even if it was just for a little while. He could distract her with sex that she both desired and demanded, but at the same time, he would make her fall in love with him. It could work. It had to.
Cocking his head at her, he questioned, “So let me get this straight once and for all. You would let me…”
He paused, fighting the conflict within himself to say what he needed to. He drew in a ragged breath. “You would let me f**k you but not love you?”
Her eyes widened at his word choice. “What’s gotten into you?”
He shrugged nonchalantly, feeling slightly empowered in the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. “I merely asked a simple question.”
She snorted exasperatedly. “Yeah, about…” She swallowed hard. “Fucking, of all things.”
“Yes.”
Megan shook her head wildly back and forth. “I can barely acknowledge hearing you say the word, least of all you doing that.”
“You can’t imagine me—”
She held up her hand. “You’re not the type of man to f**k,” she countered.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he countered, “Oh really? I’m too nice of a guy?”
“Something like that.”
“I am a man, Megan. We all have needs. Isn’t f**king one of them?”
Her body trembled slightly at his words. She licked her lips before replying, “S-Stop saying that word—it isn’t you.”
“So, f**king isn’t me? Don’t tell me you think I’m totally asexual—that you can’t imagine me f**king a woman…fucking you.” He eased in closer to her. “We both know for a fact that you wanted nothing more than to f**k me the night of Noah’s baptism. Given the chance right now, you’d let me strip off your scrubs and f**k you up against the medicine cabinet.”