“Excuse me?” he demanded.
She cocked her head at him. “The excessive blood in your penis?” He nodded. “It’s not just going to go away on its own. It has to be aspirated, which means drained out.”
Mr. Robertson swallowed hard. “Like with a needle?”
“Yes, with a very large needle.” When he started to protest, she brought her hand up. “Lucky for you, I cannot do the procedure—it is to be handled strictly by a doctor.”
“A male?”
“If it came to your penis exploding from the pressure by waiting for a male doctor, would you seriously be that picky?” His blue eyes widened in horror. “Yeah, I thought so. I’ll be back.”
When she whirled out of the room, she ran right into the last person she wanted to have to deal with at the moment.
“I’m so sorry. Are you all right?” Pesh asked.
“I’m fine.”
He smiled down at her. “Doing some patient evaluations on your own? That’s wonderful.”
“Um, well, yes and no.”
His brows knitted in concern. “What’s wrong?”
She couldn’t imagine telling Pesh about Mr. Robertson’s condition. The last thing she was going to do was refer the case to him. Draining an engorged penis should be left to the interns, not an attending physician. “Oh, it’s nothing. He’s just a little demanding.”
At that moment, the door to the exam room flew open. Mr. Robertson stood hunched over, his legs an almost painful distance apart. He took one look at Pesh and his white coat, and he lunged at him. “Help me. Please!”
Although it was strictly against the nursing code, she would have loved nothing more than to have throttled Mr. Robertson right then and there. Pesh grasped Mr. Robertson’s hands on his coat and pulled them down. “Sir, you need to get back inside. As unsteady as you are, you certainly do not need to be on your feet.”
As Pesh led Mr. Robertson back to the examining table, Megan reluctantly followed them inside the room and closed the door.
“What seems to be the problem?”
Mr. Robertson glanced from Pesh to Megan and then back to Pesh. With a sheepish expression, he replied. “Um, I seem to be having some lower abdominal swelling.”
Megan had to fight from rolling her eyes. She stepped between Pesh and Mr. Robertson and looked Pesh full on in the eye. “While the patient refuses to acknowledge his condition, it appears after examination that he has an extreme priapism.”
At the word, color flooded into Pesh’s tan cheeks, and he broke eye contact to momentarily stare down at the floor. His reaction was exactly what Megan had feared she would experience in the moment. She had hardly imagined his level of professionalism would allow him to be embarrassed about a medical condition. But of course, their past interactions made anything of the sexual kind a little more mortifying than if she was dealing with one of the male interns.
It took Pesh only a few seconds to recover, and then he immediately turned his attention to Mr. Robertson. “Did you take any erectile dysfunction medication in the last four to six hours?” When Mr. Robertson started to look at Megan, Pesh shook his head. “My nurse will stay with me through the duration of your care. So I will repeat once again, did you take any medication?”
“Cialis.”
“How many milligrams?” When Mr. Robertson shrugged, Pesh demanded, “Are you being purposefully evasive, or do you not know?”
“I don’t know, okay? I got it off a buddy of mine.”
“Do you normally take medication that isn’t prescribed to you?”
“I just wanted to try it out.”
Pesh glanced over at Megan. “I’m going to ask for a full blood work-up. Who knows what else he might’ve taken.”
Megan nodded and punched in the code on the electronic chart to get a member of the Phlebotomy team up to draw the blood. After going over to the dispenser, Pesh slid a pair of rubber gloves on. “I’m going to have to examine you now.”
With a resigned huff, Mr. Robertson threw the sheet back. Megan bit down on her lip to keep from laughing at the expression on Pesh’s face. She was pretty sure he hadn’t had to deal with a lot of penises that resembled enormous eggplants in his career. Of course, her amusement quickly faded when she realized how awkward it was being in the room with him while he held another man’s penis in his hand.
She tried busying herself with the electronic chart in front of her. She wanted to do anything but look at the scene unfolding before her. Once Pesh finished that part of the exam, Mr. Robertson eased back down on the examining table, and Pesh once again eyed the eggplant-colored penis.
“Precisely how long have you had the erection?”
“Five and a half hours.”
“There doesn’t appear to be any artery rupture, so we won’t need to perform surgery. I think the quickest form of treatment, as well as the least invasive, would be to try an injection to narrow the veins and reduce the blood flow to your penis. That should reduce the swelling.”
Mr. Robertson’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “And where do you have to give me the shot?”
“In the penis, of course.”
With a gulp, Mr. Robertson replied, “Fine. Do it.”
Pesh nodded. “Can you grab a syringe of alpha-agonist please?”
“Sure,” Megan replied. She gladly retreated from the room to head to the medicine closet. After checking the syringe dosage, she reluctantly returned to Mr. Robertson’s room.