He was much bigger than me, and I was so far gone. I passed out in the struggle. When I woke up a few hours later, I was naked from the waist down. He was asleep. Passed out. There was some blood on my thighs, and...you know…everything else. I got dressed, went home, and took a shower. He and I never spoke again. The only other person who knows this besides you is Riley. But I need you to know. It’s important to me that you do.”
A heavy, thick cloud of silence descends as Emerson’s jaw pulses with rage.
“This guy,” he says, his voice ragged, “It was Tucker. Wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” I whisper, “Yes. It was.”
“Abby, I’m so sorry,” Emerson says, “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry no one was there to help you. If I’d known—”
“What, you would have beat him up for me?” I tease, trying to force a little bit of levity into my confession.
“For starters,” Emerson says resolutely.
“That wouldn’t fix anything,” I reply. “Even if I’d told someone, no one would have believed me. I only would have gotten a reputation for being a lying whore at school. With his popularity, his family’s reputation in town...I wouldn’t have stood a chance. I’d rather get to leave this place behind and forget about every one of these assholes than give them the satisfaction of dragging me through the mud.”
“I just...I wish there was anything I could do for you,” Emerson says, “To make things better. Anything.”
“This is a pretty good start,” I tell him, giving his hand a squeeze. “We can’t change the past, you know. But we do get to decide what the future looks like.”
“Right,” he says softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You’re right.”
The sky is just starting to lighten overhead as we make our way back inside. We have school later today, as mundane as it is to think of. We pause at the top of the stairs, just before peeling off toward our own rooms. Emerson lays his hands on my bare upper arms, looking at me intently.
“Thank you for telling me everything,” he whispers, “It means so much that you can trust me with that.”
“I’d trust you with anything,” I reply, taking his face in my hands. Standing on my tiptoes, I kiss him earnestly, swiftly. This time, he doesn’t hold what I want just out of reach.
We step away from each other and dart into our rooms. As my face hits the pillow at last, I realize the enormity of everything that’s come to pass in these last 24 hours. The diner incident. The impromptu date night and steamy make out session with Emerson. Dad and Deb’s big announcement. My confession to Emerson. Our agreement for my eighteenth birthday.
“Man,” I sigh, drifting off to sleep, “I’d better give this to Riley in small doses, or else she’s going to lose her shit. Permanently.”
Chapter Six
Sure enough, my best friend is flabbergasted and delighted when I give her the scoop of all that’s gone down with me since last we spoke. We’ve decided to spend gym class huddled at the top of the football field bleachers, now that our teacher has given up on trying to make us participate in class. It’s a good thing, too, because the squeal that Riley emits when I let her in on my and Emerson’s plans for Saturday would be enough to burst any unaccustomed eardrums.
“What the fucking fuck?!” she shrieks, shoving her hands through her black curls. “This is too much. In the best way possible. Where is it gonna go down? What are you gonna wear? What if the sex is just too good and you have to rush off and elope just to beat your parents to the punch so that they’re the fucked up ones? What if—?”
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down, Tiger,” I laugh, “Neither of us expects this to be a long term thing. It can’t be, with our parents getting married. We’d probably hardly even see each other after graduation, anyway, even if they weren’t tying the knot. This is a onetime thing. A gift to ourselves. Please don’t get your hopes up for some happy ending.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” she scoffs, “My imagination can wring a happy ending out of any situation. I’m holding out hope for you two.”
“I wish I had your optimism then,” I laugh. “Really, I do.”
“And I can’t believe you told him about...you know,” she says, growing somber. “You must really trust this guy, huh?”
“I know it’s crazy, but I really do,” I tell her. “It might blow up in my face and ruin me for life, but hey, nothing’s been able to ruin me yet. So, I like my chances.”
“See? You’re plenty optimistic,” Riley says, raising an eyebrow. “Well. Optimistic-ish.”
Later that evening, I’m curled up on the couch going through some mind-numbing calculus homework. I have my headphones in, trying to drown out Deb and Dad’s pre-wedding chatter with some Kings of Leon. They’re huddled over the kitchen table, going over the last-minute plans for their spur-of-the-moment wedding ceremony and honeymoon. I can’t even think about how excruciating it will be for Emerson and I to be alone here for the whole week of their honeymoon, unable to touch each other ever again. Maybe Riley will let me crash at her place. Or I guess I could just invest in a chastity belt.
“Hey honey!” Deb chirps happily as Emerson strolls in through the front door. I look up as he enters and tug out an earbud, in case we’re all about to have a family meeting.
“Hi Mom,” he replies shortly. To my surprise, he makes a beeline to where I’m sitting on the couch and plops down next to me. I feel unaccountably nervous to be near him in our parents’ presence. What if they can sense what’s gone on between us?
But of course, they’re oblivious to the end. For once, their narcissism is working in our favor.
“Our Best Man and Maid of Honor, here together,” Deb goes on, clasping her manicured hands in elation.
“When did that get decided?” I ask under my breath.
“Don’t look at me,” Emerson replies, “It’s the first I’m hearing of it.”
“We’ll need you kids up bright and early on Sunday morning,” my dad calls over to us. “We’ve got the justice of the peace booked from noon until half past. Gotta make it snappy.”