Why did he have to be so perfect? Why was it that every muscle in her body was urging her to rush into his arms? If he’d been cruel even once, this wouldn’t be so difficult.
But then, if he’d been cruel, her heart wouldn’t be breaking right now. Trying her best to look upbeat, she moved forward and sat down, crossing her legs and leaning back as she waited for his call to end.
“Sorry about that, Haley. I was planning on looking for you this morning, but then I got called down for an early staff meeting. Since then, I haven’t been able to get off the phone for more than five minutes at a time. Where did you go?”
“Oh, I needed to take a walk. It was no big deal. Now I just need to speak to you, for only a minute,” she said, adopting a cheerful yet businesslike tone.
“Let me switch the phones over and I’ll take you for a late breakfast,” he said as he stood up.
“We don’t need to do that, Crew. This won’t take long. I just wanted to let you know I’m leaving tomorrow. I have everything arranged already and didn’t want to take up too much of your time today. I know you have a lot going on with the sale. I need to spend the rest of the day packing, and then I’ll be out of your hair before you know it,” she said. She refused to acknowledge the tears burning at the bottom of her throat, let alone give in to them.
Crew went from smiling to stone-faced in the span of two seconds. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes as he refused to let her look down — refused to break their gaze.
“Would you care to explain further?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, deciding it easiest to play dumb.
“Why the sudden urgency to leave?”
A shiver ran down her spine at the cold fury in his voice. He was pissed and not trying to hide it. Maybe she should have just slipped away during the night.
Not knowing her next move, Haley just sat there, frozen.
*****
Crew was furious. He couldn’t remember ever being this angry. He didn’t know whether he wanted to haul her into his arms and rip her clothes off, reminding her how good they were together, or to bend her over his knee and smack her on the ass.
As her large green eyes grew wide and he saw the glimmer of insecurity and self-doubt, his temper instantly cooled. She was trying her damnedest to act cool and collected, but she obviously wasn’t in as much control as she wanted him to believe.
Something else was going on here, and he was going to find out what.
“Why the sudden desire to run away, Haley? I thought you were finished hiding.”
His comment made the color rise in her cheeks; she gazed at him and seemed at a loss for words. Emotions, he could deal with; dead-silence, he couldn’t. As long as she wasn’t just through with him, he could fix this. And there was just no way he could have been so wrong about her.
Drawing up closer, he took pleasure in the tenseness of her shoulders. She was far from cool, and, with the last of his apprehension fading away, he reached down and lifted her to her feet.
She took a faltering step backward as she tried to regroup, but he didn’t give her the opportunity. Tracking her as she bumped up against his desk, he boxed her in, then stood over her.
“I need some space!” she cried as she tried to skirt around him.
“I think I’ve given you enough room to breathe. I asked a question and I want to know what this is about,” he said, his hand rising to trace the contour of her cheek.
She flinched as if his touch were painful.
Good. She was hurting. She didn’t want to leave him. His senses were heightened and he picked up on the slightest twitch of her muscles — in her face, her body — as he searched for clues to why she would say something so random and ludicrous.
“This is nothing more than your dignity getting squashed,” she huffed. “Fine. If you want to be the one to call it quits, be my guest. We both know you are leaving in a couple of weeks. So, you don’t want to lose your easy lay for your remaining time here. Well, too damned bad. I’m going.” She ended with just the slightest hitch to her voice.
That was it. She was afraid he would walk away from her. Man, did she have it all wrong. Crew pushed up against her, unashamedly crowding into the last remaining space between them.
“Is that what you think? Do you honestly believe this has all meant nothing to me — that I’m going to just walk away from you without ever looking back?”
“That’s what you do, isn’t it? You like the ladies, like to wine and dine them, show them a good time, and then walk away. I’ve heard all the stories. Well, I’m giving you your freedom, Crew. You’re free to move on to your next woman,” she forced out through gritted teeth.
He rocked his hips forward, brushing his rapidly rising arousal against her, enjoying the shock in her eyes as their bodies connected.
The two of them had never had a problem when it came to sex. She was responding to him as she always did, and he was forced to back off just a hair before he got too turned on and forgot what was most important. That had happened before…
Haley pulled against him, desperately trying to escape his grasp. Crew wasn’t having it. He gripped her arm and held on tight. He wasn’t letting her go anywhere, not unless she truly wanted to leave him. He was done with her trying to hide from him. He wanted all or nothing from here on out.
“Let me go, Crew. I have things to do.”
“What if I don’t want to let you go? What if I like you right where you are?” he said with a knowing smirk.
“This is ridiculous. Stop now!” she cried out, on the verge of tears.
Good. They were finally getting somewhere real. “Stop what, Haley? Stop caring about you? Stop making love to you? Stop dreaming of a future with you? Stop loving you? Which emotion, which temptation, which feeling should I stop?”
Her eyes widened as tears filled them, then began trickling down her face.
“Why are you trying to hurt me?” she begged, raw pain flashing across her features.
“I’m not the one wielding the knife, Haley. You are. All I’ve wanted for the past month was to show you that you can’t live without me. I love you. I need you by my side.” He didn’t see how he could get much clearer than that.
“But, for how long, Crew? You think you love me, but you don’t know the real me. You don’t know how messed up I really am. I’ve been on good behavior with you…but I have so many issues, so many problems…”