“So you stopped dating again?”
“Yes. For a while I wondered if I was gay.”
He smiled and shook his head. “You’re not gay, Claire.”
She laughed softly, feeling good about his emphatic tone. “I know.”
“Please tell me you experimented though.” He said this with a glimmer in his eyes.
She couldn’t help but laugh once again. “No. I’m sorry but I didn’t get that close. I had lots of female friends, but women just didn’t do anything for me.”
He sighed. “It’s just as well. I’m having enough trouble keeping my mind from straying. The idea of you being with another woman would just send me over the top.”
“Why do men like that so much?” she asked, taking a moment for the reprieve.
“I don’t know. We just do. Continue the story. You’re in your mid-twenties. Tell me what happened after college.”
She shrugged and took a deep breath. “About the same thing. Men became a bit more sophisticated, but they still wanted the same thing. And none were willing to date me longer than a week before they expected an engraved invitation to my bed.”
“Then Gary came along.”
“Yep,” she confirmed. “Then Gary came along. He was nice at first, very sweet. And I kept bracing for him to push me just like all the others. But he never did. We would go out to dinner, laugh, talk, joke around and then he’d take me home, leaving me on my doorstep with a simple kiss on the cheek. It was refreshing.”
He finished up his salmon and poured water for himself and her from the pitcher the waitress had left. “Can you tell me what you’re waiting for?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, taking the water and enjoying the cooling sensation as the icy water slid down her burning throat.
“What would be your criteria for giving in and having sex?”
She thought about that for a long moment, never having been asked that before. “I don’t know. It’s always been an issue to say no that I’ve never thought about a reason to say yes. I guess it would just have to feel right.”
“What would feel right to you?”
She shrugged, feeling enormously relieved that she’d finally admitted the truth to him. When the subject of sex came up with other men, she never would have told any of them that she’d never been with another man. With Mitch, it just felt right to tell him the truth and have him understand her history and why she had such a hard line.
“I guess I’m waiting for the guy who sweeps me off my feet. Someone who drives me wild when he kisses me and I don’t have any ability to say no.”
Her comment hung in the air between them. Claire realized that what she’d said was completely true. She was waiting for those amazing feelings of passion, of desire, to swarm over her so she couldn’t think anymore. None of the other men she’d dated had even come close. But every time Mitch touched her, she lost focus. When they kissed, she wasn’t ever the one to stop, it was always some external issue that interrupted them, leaving her wanting more, but still terrified of what she was feeling.
The waitress arrived at their table, smiling brightly but then realizing the tension at the table. “Should I wrap that up for you, ma’am?” she asked politely.
Claire shook her head, her gaze never leaving Mitch’s face, the intensity of the look he held her under. “No, thank you.”
“Yes,” Mitch contradicted. “She’ll need something later on,” was his only explanation but Claire understood instantly, that painful blush creeping up once again to infuse her face in color.
“Is there a hotel nearby?” Mitch asked, tearing his glance away from Claire and looking politely at the waitress.
That bright smile popped up again and Claire’s stomach just about fell out of her body. “Linda has several beautiful rooms right upstairs. I believe three of them are available if you need a place to stay for the night.”
Mitch nodded. “Tell Linda we’ll take one.
The waitress lifted the plates and bopped off to find the owner, leaving Mitch and Claire in the silence behind. Linda appeared a few moments later with a key and a smile. “It’s a good thing you decided to stay the night,” she said. “The rains have flooded the bridge out of town so it would be difficult to get out of here anyway. But here’s the key to number five, just up the stairs and at the end of the hallway. Breakfast tomorrow starts at seven but will last until about ten o’clock so no need to rush.”
Linda must have understood the tension because she moved away from the table, circumspectly busying herself with the other guests. Mitch stood up and tossed down several large bills for the meal and the tip, then turned to take Claire’s hand in his larger one.
Claire stood as well, placing her hand in his. She knew he realized she was nervous because her hand was shivering. But he held her hand firmly, leading her through the tables and up the stairs. Sure enough, at the end of the hallway was a robin’s egg blue door with a brass five nailed in the center. Mitch unlocked the door and let it swing open. Claire peered inside, trying to appear casual about what was going to happen, but she wasn’t feeling casual.
As they stood in the doorway, Mitch looked down at her carefully, trying to gauge her mood. “We don’t have to do this Claire. We can just get a good night’s sleep and continue the search tomorrow morning.”
She looked up at him, grateful for the possibility of a reprieve. But now that she was here, standing in front of him with a huge four poster bed in the middle of the lovely room, she knew that she wanted to go through with this. She wouldn’t regret this decision tomorrow, or the next day. No second thoughts, no equivocation. She wanted this man and all his gentleness and passion. She wouldn’t think about the fact that she was having sex with a man she’d known for only about two weeks.
And when he bent down to kiss her, she realized that she wouldn’t be thinking at all. Because just like in the past, as soon as he kissed her, her mind went blank and she could only feel.
He kissed her there by the door for a long time, his hands resting against her waist but not moving. Claire could feel the tension in him but didn’t understand why he was going so slowly. Reaching up, she put her hands on his shoulders, her hands moving against his tailored shirt, feeling the muscles underneath the expensive fabric and fascinated by the movement. She wanted him to do something, to show her what to do next but he barely moved, just kissed her over and over, driving her crazy both with his mouth and lack of any other movement.